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post #1 of 28 (permalink) Old 04-13-2014, 10:46 PM Thread Starter
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The MZ3forums Military Thread

I figure there's quite a few of us here, we needed a spot to collect all the armed services talk.

Gotta vent, good military joke, stories, whatever just let it fly here. Let's try to keep the language PG-13 (who am I kidding?) and remember not to dish out what you can't take (I've got Marine jokes to last a lifetime.)

Every give a short intro first time you post in here.

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post #2 of 28 (permalink) Old 04-13-2014, 10:54 PM Thread Starter
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Enlisted Louisiana Army National Guard 2000-2006. Specialist E-4. 67T Blackhawk Helicopter Mechanic

Operation Iraqi Freedom 2003-2005. Convoyed from Kuwait to Camp Anaconda, performed intermediate level maintenance on 32 aircraft with 16 total mechanics. Highest operational readiness ratio in theatre of any Army unit at that time, and yes we were busier than a twin dicked goat.

2005-2006 Hurricane Katrina state relief. Was given a summary/field promotion. To acting E-6 running our night maintenance operation. Never missed a flight or mission for nine months straight: if I had to crap the part personally or make a deal with the devil we got those birds in the air the next morning.

Got out April 2006. I was dealing with moderate to severe PTSD symptoms and wasn't in a good place to continue my enlistment. I wouldn't say I regret my decision to get out, especially after being passed over for promotion by Battalion several times and spending half my enlistment on active duty, but I do miss it.

2007 Phantom Purple hatch; JBR RMM/busihgs/shifter plate, Koni STR.t's, Michelin Pilot AS3's, Spin on oil filter conversion, stubby antenna, Kenwood KDC-X997 hu + Sundown Audio SA12 + Infinity speakers + JL 320.4 amp, debadged and door edge guards removed, Lamin-X + indy fog mod, aluminum AC knobs, DIY SRI, TRS 5000K HIDs, more coming.
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post #3 of 28 (permalink) Old 04-13-2014, 11:30 PM
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The MZ3forums Military Thread

Enlisted active duty 12b combat engineer '09-'12 Fort Carson & '12-current 35f (won't say current location due to OPSEC). Currently E5 SGT

OEF '09-'10 RC South preformed route clearance, for those of you who don't know what that means I drove really slow and looked for IEDs.

Dec. 13 '09 I had an RCIED detonated on my MRAP I'm thankful every day for that truck.

I'm supposed to get out in '16 and it scares the shit outta me but at the same time with all of the changes happening I'm almost looking forward to it.




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post #4 of 28 (permalink) Old 04-21-2014, 07:27 PM
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So since it's only you and I on this lovely creation philrab. I'm in one of those moods bc my lady and I just found out she's pregnant again.

Story time: what is the craziest VD story you have?

Mine is when I was going through R2C2 Sapper and R2C2 Puma class at Fort Lost in the Woods, Misery one guy decides to hook up with a random chick at a party (mind you we find out later she already has a kid and he's contemplating marring her after only knowing her for a weekend)
anyways he walks up to me once we get back to the hotel we were at asking if I would take him to the ER bc something is wrong

In my nice manner bc I never pass a chance to help a battle out I take him back on base we wait for a long time for him to get called back then once he finally does it's atleast another hour or two he comes back out walking funny and shows me he has antibiotics (doxycycline) on the way back to the hotel he tells me about the medics in the back that decided to play Rock Paper Scissors to find out who would "rod him" he made us all vow it would never make it out of FLW however like all good battles we made sure it did


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post #5 of 28 (permalink) Old 04-21-2014, 10:20 PM Thread Starter
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No VD stories unfortunately.

My favorite NJP moment; I had a kid, PV2 fail to show up to a formation on me. I was an E-4, acting E-6 (long ass story), running a six man squad and nighttime maintenance ops. Duty day started at 1400, rule was after a weekend you show up 4 hours before formation so I could secure all my guys, work any issues that came up over the weekend, and brief them for the shift.

Called him at 1200,1230,1300, ect all the way till 1700 and he never answered. As matter of fact, the phone stopped ringing, and went straight to voicemail, so the little shit had turned his phone off. I had a talk with Top, asked him when I had to make his AWOL official, and punch his ticket. He told me to head to HQ at 1800 or else.

At 1758, I'm walking across the road, and I see this little assbag getting out of his car in the parking lot. Buttoning his blouse, brown shirt not tucked in, boots unlaced, no cover, hadn't shaved. He was a perfect clusterfuck. I grabbed him by the sleeve, marched him into the airfield, behind the hanger, and we had a talk. If you're guessing we held hands, talked about our feelings, and made lifelong buddies, you're wrong. We kicked the crap out of each other.

Afterwards, I asked him if he wanted the brig for AWOL, or NJP (non judicial punishment, bitch duty/shit list for the non-soldier types.). Being a good sport, and not wanting to lose rank, he opted for NJP. Hence, because he was unable to sleep in his own bed and make it to formation on time, I pitched a two man tent/basic training style next to the parade deck where we held formations, and that's where he slept for a week.

After that, he squared away quickly, and I never had another soldier cross me. Word went around Mad Dogs night ops supervisor was a crazy hardass with a creative streak. I spent a lot more time taking care of my guys, but that one time one of them forced me to go full Asshole on him.

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post #6 of 28 (permalink) Old 04-22-2014, 08:54 AM
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One of the great things about being a SPC in charge instead of an NCO you can get away with things an NCO can't. Not to say that we won't try eh?


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post #7 of 28 (permalink) Old 04-26-2014, 10:14 PM Thread Starter
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One of the great things about being a SPC in charge instead of an NCO you can get away with things an NCO can't. Not to say that we won't try eh?


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I guess.

Once, I ordered my guys to stand down for four hours so they'd be rested for a quick turnaround on four aircraft that would have us out on the field past our normal quitting time. Gave my guys some time to sack and rack, no complaints from anyone. About a half hour later, I saw two of then at the smoke area and a soldier I didn't recognize talking to them with his back to me. At that moment, I noticed them at attention.

I walk up on this butter bar, from a whole other unit WAY outside my chain of command, trying to shanghai two of my guys to help him haul his personal crap someplace. I butted in (had my blouse and cover off cause we were on the flight line, so he didn't know my rank) told my guys to "F'ing Houdini." And when the lieutenant tried to interject I talked over him and said to my guys "I didn't stutter, why are you still standing there."

I then proceeded to have a dick measuring contest with this butter bar about his rank and how I was being insubordinate. I told him he was in violation of a restricted area (why was a guy from Signal Battalion screwing with my aviation area?!) and to quote "unass my AO with a quickness, or I'd run my complaint and him up the nearest flagpole." We went to wake up my First Sergeant to discuss my supposed attitude problem, whom proceeded to curse that officer up one side and down the next, then chase him off the flightline in boxers and shower shoes.

Army ain't never dull.

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post #8 of 28 (permalink) Old 04-26-2014, 10:36 PM
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I then proceeded to have a dick measuring contest with this butter bar about his rank and how I was being insubordinate. I told him he was in violation of a restricted area (why was a guy from Signal Battalion screwing with my aviation area?!) and to quote "unass my AO with a quickness, or I'd run my complaint and him up the nearest flagpole." We went to wake up my First Sergeant to discuss my supposed attitude problem, whom proceeded to curse that officer up one side and down the next, then chase him off the flightline in boxers and shower shoes.

Army ain't never dull.

Nope sure ain't. Just had to get the tattoo on my arm photoed and documented this last week bc it shows in PTs.

I love the butter bars they have a bad entitlement problem, but we always corrected it with a quickness.

Such as when this one came in so of course the team & squad leaders waited until he had gotten comfortable with the PLT. They all bum rushed him an took him down 550 corded and hundred mile an hour taped his ass up. So one of his fellow LTs decided it would be a good time to act like a hero and help out his buddy. Well he jumped at the wrong squad leader (combats lvl 4 certified) this guy jumped from laying flat on the other LT over three other NCOs and spider monkeyed this moron. Needless to say he never tried to be a hero again.


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post #9 of 28 (permalink) Old 04-27-2014, 11:31 AM Thread Starter
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See, that's what gets me. Our LT's mostly come up from enlisted anyway. Most pilots in my old unit cut their teeth as mechanics or crew chiefs, so they aren't total and complete douche nozzles. The one or two that are get handled by flight fairly quickly, lest they let maintenance/Mad Dogs have all the fun.

Most of my run ins were with dickheads from outside of my unit. Fortunately, I avoided brig/article 15 a few times cause I was

A. Squared away other than being insanely confrontational. My old CO said I could pick a fight with Mother Theresa.

B. The CO's driver when I wasn't working as an aircraft mechanic. I'd bailed him and the rest of the officers/warrants out of trouble plenty of times, and knew where all the bodies were buried, so they worked hard to keep me from getting into too severe of trouble.

2007 Phantom Purple hatch; JBR RMM/busihgs/shifter plate, Koni STR.t's, Michelin Pilot AS3's, Spin on oil filter conversion, stubby antenna, Kenwood KDC-X997 hu + Sundown Audio SA12 + Infinity speakers + JL 320.4 amp, debadged and door edge guards removed, Lamin-X + indy fog mod, aluminum AC knobs, DIY SRI, TRS 5000K HIDs, more coming.
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post #10 of 28 (permalink) Old 04-27-2014, 11:45 AM
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See, that's what gets me. Our LT's mostly come up from enlisted anyway. Most pilots in my old unit cut their teeth as mechanics or crew chiefs, so they aren't total and complete douche nozzles. The one or two that are get handled by flight fairly quickly, lest they let maintenance/Mad Dogs have all the fun.

Yeah I've been there too. I've driven for the 1SG and CO, then when I got moved to BN I drove for all of the staff. Part that still puzzles me about my story is the second LT was prior enlisted made it to E7.

I've noticed that other units will try to pull that bs, for some odd reason they have a bad misconception they can play rock paper rank with any enlisted walking around. I just laugh and walk off, not my unit not my problem.

Most of the time though they wouldn't let me out in public. I'm not sure why.....



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