should i be worried? - FMVperformance.com : The site for all your Ford Mazda and Volvo needs
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post #1 of 49 (permalink) Old 06-23-2010, 08:12 PM Thread Starter
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should i be worried?

hey guys i just got engaged not to long ago but today i found out that she has been hiding from me that she lost her liscense(suspended for wreckless driving) and she was keeping it a secret for a couple of weeks already. My question is since she lied to me and was hiding it from me such a little thing like this should i be worried that she might be hiding more things from me or am i just freaking out?? let me know what you guys think..
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post #2 of 49 (permalink) Old 06-23-2010, 08:13 PM
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Re: should i be worried?

We all have our secrets but if it was something that big, I'd be pissed. I'd also let it go eventually. Def. wouldn't leave her over it. She's probably afraid you'll get mad and leave her.
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post #3 of 49 (permalink) Old 06-23-2010, 08:22 PM
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Re: should i be worried?

I think you are making a big deal out of nothing....losing your license isn't exactly something that I would go around telling people...I bet she is just super embarrassed by the whole situation..brush it off and don't sweat it


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post #4 of 49 (permalink) Old 06-23-2010, 08:27 PM
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Re: should i be worried?

sit her down and talk to her about it
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post #5 of 49 (permalink) Old 06-23-2010, 08:40 PM
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Re: should i be worried?

[quote author=bpboiler3 link=topic=175176.msg3706810#msg3706810 date=1277338947]
I think you are making a big deal out of nothing....losing your license isn't exactly something that I would go around telling people...I bet she is just super embarrassed by the whole situation..brush it off and don't sweat it
[/quote]

Yeah, not telling a bunch of people is one thing, not telling your fiance is another. Hell I'd tell a serious GF even.

I actually chatted with my wife on this one; being engaged means you are preparing to be married. In a marriage you don't hide things from your spouse. In this case it is a lie by ommission. You don't necessarily tell your partner every gosh darned little thing. Example, you wouldn't necessarily tell your spouse "Hey, the cute waiter at my business luncheon was hitting on me", but you would tell them something like "My credit card was cancelled" "The insurance on the car was dropped" "I lost my license" "I cheated on you".

That isn't to say she is cheating on you, I doubt it. She is however at least showing poor judgement in what she is telling you.

I think you should sit down with her and explain that what you are looking for in a marriage is open and honest communication, and not telling you important things like losing her license, as an example (or some of the above) isn't open and honest communication and it is something you NEED in a relationship for it to be successful.

Go from there. Personally if she starts showing a patern of this kind of behavior, no matter how much you might love her, I'd drop her like a hot rock. The lieing could be much, much worse some day and probably would be (if she is showing a patern).
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post #6 of 49 (permalink) Old 06-23-2010, 10:59 PM
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Re: should i be worried?

Quote:
I think you should sit down with her and explain that what you are looking for in a marriage is open and honest communication, and not telling you important things like losing her license, as an example (or some of the above) isn't open and honest communication and it is something you NEED in a relationship for it to be successful.
Well said
I think i would find it pretty hard to keep a secret like that from my husband id like to think that i could talk to him about anything and everything even if he didnt agree or was very upset at my actions at least i could vent out how im feeling, i hope you guys sit down and sort this all out what you partner has done is very wrong and i hope she learns from her mistakes and you guys go on to have a long and happy marriage
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post #7 of 49 (permalink) Old 06-23-2010, 11:02 PM
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Re: should i be worried?

Yes.

But then again you can't trust any woman.


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post #8 of 49 (permalink) Old 06-23-2010, 11:07 PM Thread Starter
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Re: should i be worried?

exactly. i briefly told her that i am upset about the part that she lied to me and was hiding the fact that she didnt have her liscense. Relationships rely on communication and trust. i just hope she dosent keep this up.
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post #9 of 49 (permalink) Old 06-24-2010, 12:00 AM
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Re: should i be worried?

I would only be worried if she was driving during this time. Certainly not something too terrible but it sure sounds frustrating.

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post #10 of 49 (permalink) Old 06-24-2010, 01:28 AM
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Re: should i be worried?

Not gonna sugar coat it... id be pretty pissed if i was planning on marrying someone and they lied to me about something like this. Losing your license is a huge deal and will effect the family unit as a whole, not just one person. Insurance goes up, only one driver now, this isnt something to be taken lightly.

To be honest... if this was not the first time she's hid something big from you i would have no problem at all considering leaving.

Relationships are built on trust and a mutual understanding of one another. If you cant be honest with your partner about something like this there is a serious problem.


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