Favorite Jeremy Clarkson Quote - FMVperformance.com : The site for all your Ford Mazda and Volvo needs
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post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-27-2009, 10:05 PM Thread Starter
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Favorite Jeremy Clarkson Quote

I'm one of those that don't watch Top Gear because of the cars but because of how entertaining it is, especially Mr. Clarkson

So here are a few of the best quotes from Mr. Clarkson:

"Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sportscar… in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President."

"God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place." - on Detroit

"In many ways then this car is like herpes. Great fun catching it but not so much fun to live with every day." - Corvette Z06

"There are many things I’d rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean."
- Porsche Cayman S

"I consider Ferrari a scaled-down version of God!"


"There is a word to describe this car: it begins with ’s’ and ends with ‘t’ and it isn’t soot"
- Vauxhall Vectra

"This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory."
- Elise

"This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Ooh good I’ve got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases."

and the classic:

"M3 drivers have no friends"


Feel free to add any other one you like
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post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-27-2009, 10:52 PM
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Re: Favorite Jeremy Clarkson Quote

"This [Audi R8] is like smearing honey into Keira Knightley." :P


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post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-27-2009, 10:53 PM
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Re: Favorite Jeremy Clarkson Quote

"Hold onto your spleen!"
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post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-28-2009, 08:40 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Favorite Jeremy Clarkson Quote

"The people at Koenigsegg say this is more comfortable...more comfortable than what?...being stabbed?" - Koenigsegg CCX
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post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-28-2009, 10:26 AM
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Re: Favorite Jeremy Clarkson Quote

"If this were America, it would be full of people doing... whatever it is they do. Incest, mostly, I think. "


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post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-28-2009, 10:32 AM
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Re: Favorite Jeremy Clarkson Quote

(On the BMW X3) If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning, and you think you are an onion, this is your car.
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post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-28-2009, 10:51 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Favorite Jeremy Clarkson Quote

"There are three religions down here: George Bush, God, and Country & Western - in that order....ascending order!" - while driving through Alabama
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post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-28-2009, 11:00 AM
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Re: Favorite Jeremy Clarkson Quote

“Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary... that’s what gets you.”

[On the Alfa Romeo Brera] “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”

[On the Porsche Boxster] “It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.”

“Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.”

“Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.”



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post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-28-2009, 11:35 AM
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Re: Favorite Jeremy Clarkson Quote

[quote author=walorotary link=topic=154552.msg3300888#msg3300888 date=1251471097]
"There are three religions down here: George Bush, God, and Country & Western - in that order....ascending order!" - while driving through Alabama
[/quote]
that episode was hilarious haha. and how they painted eachothers cars

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post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old 08-28-2009, 01:00 PM
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Re: Favorite Jeremy Clarkson Quote

“The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite”

“I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen

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