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post #1 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-29-2008, 03:25 AM Thread Starter
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break up w/ gf story (vent)

so its been about a month since my gf of 4+ years and i split up as exclusive relationship status. i may have briefly mentioned it on here but its been tough. ive stayed busy with work, friends, and more.

i'll be 25 soon, she turns 22 this week. we've gone through so much, many low times, lots of high times and its been amazing to have such a best friend over the past years. shes lived on her own since right when she turned 18. shes seen my family fall apart w/ a divorce and helped me through it. i've been there for her as her mom had passed away before we started dating. i wanted to marry this girl. she was amazing, we fit together perfectly. it just seems so cruddy now to not have that person to talk to, confide in, and hold. her deal is that she isnt sure what she wants, but she says its not fair to keep me involved with her. like i said, we talked about marriage, but i didnt feel she was quite ready yet so i was being patient. we've been doing well until now, chat like 1x a week to say hi, etc. she has said that she would love to get her act together and potentially be back together. that was okay with me until lately...its come to the point now that she has started lying to me about stupid stuff. we share a phone plan and it came today and i saw that she started calling some number in denver the week before we broke up and now she calls it all the time. she asked to hang out saturday to grab a drink, but blew me off to go out w/ other ppl.

im afraid my epic road trip will not go so well, since part of the reason was for us to attend a wedding for her immediate family in portland. i just feel used in some ways, im too nice of a guy to put up with this. would it be wrong of me to still go on my journey (alone) but tell her she needs to get there on her own?

ive been getting ready to start a 12 month MBA program this fall, put up with another year at my current job then prepare to go onto bigger and better things. i feel like i should go to a new place now while i have no strings to anything. san jose, north carolina, seattle are places of opportunity for me.

blahhhhhhhhhh. i cant sleep


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post #2 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-29-2008, 03:34 AM
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Re: break up w/ gf story (vent)

Sorry man, I don't know what to tell you...

I can only tell you this much... we can hang out if you move to San Jose.


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post #3 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-29-2008, 03:41 AM Thread Starter
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Re: break up w/ gf story (vent)

thanks bro. i think it would be pretty BA to go up there. work for a start up, make lots of contacts my industry.


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post #4 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-29-2008, 03:53 AM
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Re: break up w/ gf story (vent)

I'll share some things with the M3Fs that MIGHT help out with your situation. I was dating a girl for about 2.5yrs. We had a place together and things were good. We, like all other couples, had our ups and our downs, but overall, things were going well for us. We met at our job. We talked and flirted and eventually started going to lunches together. One thing led to another and we started dating. Well after a few months of that we got a place together. we worked opposite shifts most of the time, so we saw each other for lunch breaks and sleeping at night. One day she comes to me and says that she wants to take her extra week of vacation (she worked there longer than i had) and go back to her moms place to ride her bike around the trials and be with family and just get things right in her head so we could go back to the good times. So I packed up my bags and went back to my parents place because thats what i felt i needed to do. Day 7 rolls around and my cell rings, i see its her so i answer. instead of saying "hi" or "hello", i say "are you ready for me to come back yet" and there is a slight pause and she says "im getting married in 2 hours". Now, the lad that she is marrying is one of my employees. I found his application, I interviewed him, I made sure he kept his job whenever I got many complaints about him not willing to be part of the team.

Now, I tell you this because this has lead to me being a MUCH better person. I am was getting lazy and content with my life. Since then I have moved on to better things that I couldnt have accomplished while i was with her. I am happy with my new job, and happy with the girl i have now.

I know your situation blows, but if she is going to do things behind your back, and leave something that you thought was really good, then she is the one losing out in the long run. You gotta take care of yourself at this point in time. Wish her the best of luck with her future, and you start looking out for #1 because no one else will. Keep your head up.
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post #5 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-29-2008, 05:15 AM
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Re: break up w/ gf story (vent)

Sorry to here man..

[quote author=Kwikness link=topic=118995.msg2501194#msg2501194 date=1217318005]
I know your situation blows, but if she is going to do things behind your back, and leave something that you thought was really good, then she is the one losing out in the long run. You gotta take care of yourself at this point in time. Wish her the best of luck with her future, and you start looking out for #1 because no one else will. Keep your head up.
[/quote]
He has a point. I went through a bad break up a couple years back. And it took me a good year after to realize that "I gotta start taking care of myself, an not let someone else's actions/decisions towards me, ruin me." Made me into a stronger person.

Don't assume what she wants to do, sit down and clear things up once and for all and go from there. Keep your head held high. Everything happens for a reason man. Even if it turns out bad, something better is waiting...

"The root of suffering is attachment. You have created a space in your mind that holds a person or object as a part of you. When that person or object is criticized, neglected or not there with you, you feel pain in your mind and you experience a sense of loss. If you want to remain happy at all times, you must learn to love and appreciate while remaining independent."


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post #6 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-29-2008, 08:20 AM
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Re: break up w/ gf story (vent)

sorry to here that man I just went through a divorce with my ex and we were togather since 2000 it sucked we were highschool sweet hearts the whole nine yards we even have a daughter togather it really is the hardest thing I ever went through it was worst then when my dad died but hey if I can get through it I know you can cause it least you can talk about it i couldnt for a long time if you ever come to central florida let me know I buy you a beer and introduce you to the local talent

You could be a redneck if you were just married and you have nothing but empty Skoal cans strung from your bumper as you leave the church.
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post #7 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-29-2008, 08:36 AM
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Re: break up w/ gf story (vent)

wow....some tough stories!!

[quote author=biking4jesus link=topic=118995.msg2501171#msg2501171 date=1217316306]
...its come to the point now that she has started lying to me about stupid stuff. we share a phone plan and it came today and i saw that she started calling some number in denver the week before we broke up and now she calls it all the time. she asked to hang out saturday to grab a drink, but blew me off to go out w/ other ppl.
[/quote]

definitely time to let go...move on and worry about yourself!!


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post #8 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-29-2008, 09:15 AM
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Re: break up w/ gf story (vent)

That sux biking. One thing that I've noticed in my 24.5 years of existence is that whenever you're a few years older then your girlfriend (like in your situation), and you don't get married before she's 21; it seems to open a door to some problems. I'm not gonna say that she was being sneeky around you, but I'm sure she has plenty of friends that are 21 and 22. These friends could have not had a good taste in their mouth about you, because you stole their friend away from them when she was 17. Now that they are all 21 or 22 they want to take your ex out and have a good time, and possibly purposely put her in sticky situations. I'm not saying this has happened, but I've seen it happen many times with some of my friends. The moment the girl turns 21 she's ok till she has her first taste of going out with her girlfriends and getting boozed up. Generally the older guy doesn't want to go out as much, because he's past his party stages and it causes a rift in the relationship. Now she starts going out more, isn't calling you as much while she's out, and starts coming home intoxicated more often. I hope the best for you biking, but this could have been a sign that you don't want to marry this girl afterall.

LMFAO "oh i thought i didn't need that" i bet in your head you were like "go kick your mom in the ass for me when you get home " 08mazda2.0
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post #9 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-29-2008, 09:17 AM
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Re: break up w/ gf story (vent)

the best way to get over an ex-girlfriend is to get over a new one. :P

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post #10 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-29-2008, 09:28 AM
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Re: break up w/ gf story (vent)

[quote author=John_in_the_LBC link=topic=118995.msg2501370#msg2501370 date=1217337420]
the best way to get over an ex-girlfriend is to get over a new one. :P
[/quote]

+1 I got divorced march 2007 getting married to my fiance sept 27 2008 lol

You could be a redneck if you were just married and you have nothing but empty Skoal cans strung from your bumper as you leave the church.
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