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post #1 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-28-2008, 08:54 AM Thread Starter
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I have this stupid friend

As many of you know I have quite a few girl friends that I've known for years that I hang out with time to time. I'm about to explain to you a situation that sits uneasy with me (and I'm sure some of you would think that I like her more than friends, but that is not the case.)

I have this friend named Chels that I've known since we've been in junior high. Basically I've known here for half my life. We've only been staying in contact again for about 8 months, because she went off to another college and I stayed at home to go to the 4 year college in my town. We met back up this summer and we had some really good times to chilling out, watching movies, and talking about past times. Well anyways she's some what of a NEMPHO and she ranks sex high on the charts of what makes a relationship work. I personally enjoy sex as well, but no where near as much as she does. She's ranks sex so high that she will take abuse to make a relationship work. She has told me that she was in an abusive relationship her senior year of college when she was living with this guy. Anyways I'm gonna get to the story that's at hand.

She met a guy through a friend named Jamey who fit her profile of what she wants out of a guy. He was smart, funny, cute, great in bed, and well you know the rest. The downside of this is he's somewhat afraid of committment and is constantly letting her down. She had more than one episode where they would have see each other one night, have a good time, have sex, and then she wouldn't hear from the guy for 2-3 weeks. In the meantime when I would talk to her I would have to hear about how she wants this to work so bad. This went on from probably July-December when he had to move, because of his job. She agreed to stay in touch with him, but during the time before he left she was on the verge of a meltdown. She went to the doctor and got on some medicine to control her anxiety. She's one of those people that everything has to go her way or she is not a happy camper. In a way she's very selfish.

So Jamey leaves and at first Chels wanted to talk to this guy, but then she was like I want to cut off contact because he is not good for my mental well-being. Well that worked for a few days and she ended up just being completely miserable and started talking to him again. She even bought a cat during this time to keep her company while this guy is gone. We used to hang out a lot, but ever since she met this guy she not only has cut me off, but all of her very close high school friends. Now we are going to fast forward to this week. She's been talking to Jamey heavily and is now telling him that she misses him and she wants to be with him. This week he was close to our area and she drove 1.5 hrs to go and pick him up. I obviously was a little frustrated with her, because I feel she's forcing this relationship to work. A lot of us are in the dark about this guy and we only hear the negatives that are going on and never the positives. Well she picked him up on Tuesday and she said it was really a good time, but he still doesn't want to committ. Also ever since she's been on this medicine she has had no libido, but as soon as this guy comes around she gets very horny. Sorry, we have a fairly open friendship so neither one of us gets embarrassed.

What should I do about this friendship? I'm really tired of wasting my breath because she is an adult and can do what she wants to do, but I don't want to see her sink and drown. I can't say this guy is the right guy for her, because everytime he leaves she ends up crying for a day or two. Then while he's gone she misses him like crazy. I feel like their relationship is a big loop that is not going to work out for either party. I have given her my side of how I feel, but it seems she's really in love or thinks she's in love with Jamey. I've been this way a few years back and it definitely didn't work out the way I wanted it too.

LMFAO "oh i thought i didn't need that" i bet in your head you were like "go kick your mom in the ass for me when you get home " 08mazda2.0
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post #2 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-28-2008, 09:12 AM
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Re: I have this stupid friend

where does this guy keep going man? sounds to me hes just playing the field and she needs to know that. there are tons of good guys out there that will give her what she wants and treat her like she deserves. she sounds like she is just letting her love for this douche blind her instincts on how horrible he is being. if it were me I would talk to him.... I don't let anyone treat my friends shitty, thats grounds for a house call and an ass kicking.

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post #3 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-28-2008, 09:23 AM
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Re: I have this stupid friend

He's playing her. If she's that delusional to think it's going to work, then she's got some problems.

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post #4 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-28-2008, 09:26 AM
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Re: I have this stupid friend

[quote author=chickmod link=topic=104053.msg2107977#msg2107977 date=1204208596]
He's playing her. If she's that delusional to think it's going to work, then she's got some problems.
[/quote]


love is blind bro...... sometimes it can be right in front of them and they just "not" see it...

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post #5 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-28-2008, 09:34 AM
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Re: I have this stupid friend

[quote author=j cool link=topic=104053.msg2107982#msg2107982 date=1204208807]
[quote author=chickmod link=topic=104053.msg2107977#msg2107977 date=1204208596]
He's playing her. If she's that delusional to think it's going to work, then she's got some problems.
[/quote]


love is blind bro...... sometimes it can be right in front of them and they just "not" see it...
[/quote]

That is a girl.

And Post pics of her.


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post #6 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-28-2008, 09:41 AM
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Re: I have this stupid friend

Trust me, I know.

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post #7 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-28-2008, 09:45 AM
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Re: I have this stupid friend

That's not love, it's an addiction. This chick is dangerous to herself. She needs to break it off with this guy and go through the withdrawal and get her head screwed on straight before getting into a serious relationship.
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post #8 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-28-2008, 10:02 AM Thread Starter
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Re: I have this stupid friend

The deal is I've never met the guy, but I get to hear about how he doesn't treat her how she should be treated. I know 100% that he's there just to play the field, and I've even told her that. She just wants it to work so bad that she is willing to be let down over and over to get some feeling of gratification. She also told me this week that she's been single for 23 years and is tired of it. I told her that she can come out with my friends and I on the weekends to have a good time. She rebutled by saying, "I'm tired of meeting guys at the bar and the club." I told her why can't you just come out and have a good time and just hang out. I invited her to go out with my g/f and I this past Monday to go bowling with some other people and she declined. She just doesn't want to do anything, unless it has to do with work or Jamey. I told my g/f that this friendship is about to end because quite frankly I'm tired of offering some solid advice and her not taking it. I'm a guy and I could tell that Jamey was playing for sex from a mile away.

The best story she's every told me about them is in these next few sentences. Her and some friends went out for some drinks one night. Her friends told her that they would like for her to meet a guy. She gladly accepted and the following weekend friends and this guy went out for a night on the town. They went to dinner and Chels just wasn't really into the guy, but agreed to continue heading forward. They later all went out to a club and the night just got worst. Chels was drinking at the time (she can't drink now because she's on anxiety medicine) and the night with her date just was not a good night. Guess who she sees out at the club this night, Jamey. Her date was already bad so she had no problem leaving him on the way side to talk to someone she liked. When seeing Jamey tonight this was the first time she had seen or talked to him in 3 weeks. Of course they talked and then Chels invited him back to her apartment to have sex. She said that it was the best she had ever had and she thought the next morning everything was going great. They met up later that day to go eat lunch and everything was different. Jamey wanted to pay more attention to his friends than to her and Chels hates that, because she is very much an attention whore.

What ends up happening this time is after lunch they don't talk for 2 weeks, unti he decides he wants to call her. All of this went on around October and now I'm going to fast forward to January. I had went over to her apartment to catch up with her and see how things are going with her and her new job. She said her new job was awesome and she was picked for "Most New Customers for the Month" for a trucking company she works for. After that it was silent and then she brought up Jamey again. She said that now that he's gone she still thinks about him everyday and sends him text messages about how much she misses him. She states that sometimes he responds and sometimes he doesn't.

I'm a guy and I look at this whole situation from a male standpoint. Ok, I've boned this girl many times without ever having to spend any money, and all I have to do is call and I get laid. Why start up an emotional roller coaster relationship when I have everything right in front of me. A guy like that would never turn down this situation, because it's literally a GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY. This is like being able to get 21 everytime in blackjack. I just don't understand how she literally can't see herself flat out getting played by this guy. She always says that he holds her like he never wants to let go and when they're together he treats her really nice, but when they're apart the communication is terrible. When I liked a girl they would always know it. I was never the type to play games or mess around with someones emotions. I always look at it as what goes around comes around, and KARMA is a bitch.

I think this guy could be poison for my friend, but she's 23 years old and I can't tell her what to do in relationships. The only thing I can do is watch the trainwrecks and hope maybe someday she will come around. I offer up this good advice and it literally goes through one ear and out the other.

LMFAO "oh i thought i didn't need that" i bet in your head you were like "go kick your mom in the ass for me when you get home " 08mazda2.0
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post #9 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-28-2008, 10:12 AM Thread Starter
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Re: I have this stupid friend

[quote author=tsaotablem link=topic=104053.msg2108024#msg2108024 date=1204209943]
That's not love, it's an addiction. This chick is dangerous to herself. She needs to break it off with this guy and go through the withdrawal and get her head screwed on straight before getting into a serious relationship.
[/quote]

You hit the nail on the head without me evening have to say it. She's very dangerous to herself and getting guys like this is normal for her. I will unload a story very quickly that she told me. She lost her virginity as a 21 year old senior in college. She was living with a guy and he was physically and mentally abusing to her. After experiencing sex for the first time she thought that was the best. She slept with another guy and noticed that, "Wow sex is a lot better with this guy!" What ended up happening is she slept with a lot of different guys to feel a sexual need. This is why she's always been SHIT on by guys, because she gets guys that have big dicks that can please her sexually. She takes that feeling she gets from sex and tries to incorporate it into a relationship, but the guy always sees it as a hit it and quit it. It's sad because I can see it, but she can't. I'm tired of telling her this till I'm blue in the face, and I'm starting to feel that I need to end this relationship. It's making me stressed out because I don't like this stuff to happen to me or my friends. I've thought about this so much, because this could end up really bad. I've even been neglecting my g/f some to try and fix the problem, because my g/f and I argue some, but our relationship is strong. I see my g/f and I slowly getting a little bit shorter of a fuse and it's from me trying to help Chels. Her lifestyle is starting to become poison in my relationship.

LMFAO "oh i thought i didn't need that" i bet in your head you were like "go kick your mom in the ass for me when you get home " 08mazda2.0
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post #10 of 32 (permalink) Old 02-28-2008, 10:13 AM
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Re: I have this stupid friend

[quote author=weezerfan84 link=topic=104053.msg2108067#msg2108067 date=1204210972]
The deal is I've never met the guy, but I get to hear about how he doesn't treat her how she should be treated. I know 100% that he's there just to play the field, and I've even told her that. She just wants it to work so bad that she is willing to be let down over and over to get some feeling of gratification. She also told me this week that she's been single for 23 years and is tired of it. I told her that she can come out with my friends and I on the weekends to have a good time. She rebutled by saying, "I'm tired of meeting guys at the bar and the club." I told her why can't you just come out and have a good time and just hang out. I invited her to go out with my g/f and I this past Monday to go bowling with some other people and she declined. She just doesn't want to do anything, unless it has to do with work or Jamey. I told my g/f that this friendship is about to end because quite frankly I'm tired of offering some solid advice and her not taking it. I'm a guy and I could tell that Jamey was playing for sex from a mile away.

The best story she's every told me about them is in these next few sentences. Her and some friends went out for some drinks one night. Her friends told her that they would like for her to meet a guy. She gladly accepted and the following weekend friends and this guy went out for a night on the town. They went to dinner and Chels just wasn't really into the guy, but agreed to continue heading forward. They later all went out to a club and the night just got worst. Chels was drinking at the time (she can't drink now because she's on anxiety medicine) and the night with her date just was not a good night. Guess who she sees out at the club this night, Jamey. Her date was already bad so she had no problem leaving him on the way side to talk to someone she liked. When seeing Jamey tonight this was the first time she had seen or talked to him in 3 weeks. Of course they talked and then Chels invited him back to her apartment to have sex. She said that it was the best she had ever had and she thought the next morning everything was going great. They met up later that day to go eat lunch and everything was different. Jamey wanted to pay more attention to his friends than to her and Chels hates that, because she is very much an attention whore.

What ends up happening this time is after lunch they don't talk for 2 weeks, unti he decides he wants to call her. All of this went on around October and now I'm going to fast forward to January. I had went over to her apartment to catch up with her and see how things are going with her and her new job. She said her new job was awesome and she was picked for "Most New Customers for the Month" for a trucking company she works for. After that it was silent and then she brought up Jamey again. She said that now that he's gone she still thinks about him everyday and sends him text messages about how much she misses him. She states that sometimes he responds and sometimes he doesn't.

I'm a guy and I look at this whole situation from a male standpoint. Ok, I've boned this girl many times without ever having to spend any money, and all I have to do is call and I get laid. Why start up an emotional roller coaster relationship when I have everything right in front of me. A guy like that would never turn down this situation, because it's literally a GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY. This is like being able to get 21 everytime in blackjack. I just don't understand how she literally can't see herself flat out getting played by this guy. She always says that he holds her like he never wants to let go and when they're together he treats her really nice, but when they're apart the communication is terrible. When I liked a girl they would always know it. I was never the type to play games or mess around with someones emotions. I always look at it as what goes around comes around, and KARMA is a bitch.

I think this guy could be poison for my friend, but she's 23 years old and I can't tell her what to do in relationships. The only thing I can do is watch the trainwrecks and hope maybe someday she will come around. I offer up this good advice and it literally goes through one ear and out the other.
[/quote]

if you want it to end you need to make an ultimatum. im not sure how i would go about it but she has got to break away at all costs. i know your friendship is strained but stick with it man, maybe ur gf can help her some as well to take the burden off of you. to be honest though, if it were me i would have to confront this guy by any means needed and end his relationship with her if thats what it took. but she would have to be a close friend for me to go through with that.

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2008 Mazda3 S GT 5dr, AT Aurora Blue loaded. All stock.

1994 Nissan sentra Black and dented 200+k auto, 30mpg beater.
1986 S-10 Blazer Apple Red 4x4 2.8 auto. Rust cut out, in search of a newer 700R4. Under construction.
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