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post #1 of 112 (permalink) Old 03-08-2007, 01:33 PM Thread Starter
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i need some real advice - long story

Please take it easy on me guys (and girls) because I am looking for some real advice (no bashing please), I have talked to all my friends and family about this and seem to be getting the same answers.. "do what you believe it best for you".. So I come here in asking for advice on what to do from people looking at this from the outside...

so i proposed to my girlfriend at the beginning of February and she said yes.. We had been living together for a few months prior to this, and dating even longer...

here is my issue.. My fiancee and I have been getting along great not a problem at all... look back to the beginning of our relationship drinking was an kind of an issue she is the type of person that CANT handle alcohol AT ALL... She is drunk after about 2-3 drink and she because very emotional and she would cause all types of problems.. Now she was nothing like an alcoholic or anything I mean just maybe once or twice a month we she/we would go out.. We both agreed that this was a problem an she needs to really watch her drinking.. She what she said she wanted to do was just stop getting drunk and that worked out great all problems related to drinking stopped and we were so happy..

so three weeks after our engagement we went to a friends going away party, and she agreed not to get drunk.. Here is the problem, I got completely drunk and I encouraged her to drink more and more thus making her drunk.. I quickly sobered up once I realize that she was drunk because I didnt want to be at the friends house if she had one of her emotional outbursts.. So we went back home and she was passed out the whole way home. When we pulled into the parking lot of the apartment she woke up and realized the gas light was on in her car.. She asked me to turn around and get gas and I was like no I am tired we will get it tomorrow... Thats when I screwed up she got into one of her drunken moods and she was like give me the keys I want to get the gas myself.. And I was like no I am going to bed and I went inside and hid her keys so she couldnt get them and drive... So we got into a huge argument about it and I was like whatever I am going to bed we will get gas in the morning just go to bed.. So I go to bed and she stays out in the other room, and she goes I am going to call the police if you dont give me my keys and I was like go for it... And she actually does, she calls them and says my boyfriend wont give me my keys and I just want to leave and she says our address.. and I was like are you really talking to the police and she says yes so I say let me talk to them because I wanted to see if she was really talking to anyone so I grab the phone and there is no one there.. (come to find out she did call the police and I might of hit the end button or something when I grabbed the phone..) next thing I know the police are knocking on the door and I answer and they say whats the problem and she come stumbling out and goes I just want to leave and he wont give me my keys and he hung up the phone when I called you guys.. And I was like she is drunk I am not going to let her drive.. Next thing I know I was arrested for domestic violence and interference with a report of domestic violence. I didn't lay a hand on her, I just wouldn't give her the keys.. I explained that to the police and they said well we have to take you in because she called... So I went to jail for 4 days then had a pre-trial court and the judge let me go but I have a real court case at the end of the month.. My fiancee was not pressing charges but in domestic disturbances the state takes over so she has no say in it at all.. And I got to review the police report and it said nothing about her being drunk, it said that I refused to give her her keys when she asked for them when she wanted to leave then she tried to call the police and I hung up the phone..

So here is my problem, I have already spend 4 days in jail, I got a lawyer which cost $5000. and when I come home from jail she is completely moved out. The state automatically puts a restraining order on me so I have no contact with her.. But I was like I need to talk to her about what the hell is going on so I call her and she is like you know I just need some time this is a big problem and if this is what marriage is going to be like I think we need to think twice about it.. The whole thing is her fault because she is a BAD drunk... She tells me that we are still together she just needs some time..

So thanks for reading and please no bashing because I have A LOT on my mind right now... So here is where I need the advice, after reading this what would you do?? I mean I love her to death and this whole situation SHOULD NOT of happened.. But I just really dont have any idea what I should do... Any thoughts guys???
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post #2 of 112 (permalink) Old 03-08-2007, 01:45 PM
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Re: i need some real advice - long story

:shock:

i guess it really comes down to "does she want to continue to drink?"
some people are slightly allergic to alcohol, so their tolerance in nearly zero...
when going out, if you are going to drink, she should always be your designated driver (no booze).

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post #3 of 112 (permalink) Old 03-08-2007, 01:52 PM
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Re: i need some real advice - long story

yikes dude that is nuts!

I dont think that calls for a real arguement. It was just all a big mistake that the laws of the state had to carry out.

After the restraining order, i would talk to her, you both sit down and talk about it.
She got drunk and made some foolish calls. Tell her you tried to protect her.

Cause a drunk person driving to a gas station and getting gas........

dont let me near 10 miles of that gas station.

And dont let her near 10 miles of alcohol anymore.

If need be, maybe when your around your girlfriend, you should not drink as much either.

You both need tio learn self control (No offense). Im not saying you are a crazy drunk guy.

But just at least, when your around your girlfriend, try not to drink alcohol, so she wont drink either.
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post #4 of 112 (permalink) Old 03-08-2007, 01:53 PM
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Re: i need some real advice - long story

holy shit...its not totally her fault cuz u did tell her to drink more....but damn....idk if i would marry her now...thats fucked up that she called the cops and didnt even defend u...just on that only would u wanna marry someone that would just leave u in jail and not care...but it is a stickie situation so its hard to tell...


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post #5 of 112 (permalink) Old 03-08-2007, 01:58 PM
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Re: i need some real advice - long story

First, let me say I am sorry that this happened to you. If I was in the same situation, I would get as far away from her as possible.

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post #6 of 112 (permalink) Old 03-08-2007, 02:04 PM
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Re: i need some real advice - long story

dude, thats clearyly not a drinking problem, the bitch is a fucking psycho, get the FUCK away from her while you still can...my last girlfriend had her flaws too and I know you feel that you gotta lie for her and defend her all the time because of her flaws, if thats what you wanna deal with for the rest of your life and live a totally controversial marriage with this woman than be my guest, but the bitch is clearly fucked in the head. No offence cuz I know you probably love her, but as a stranger I am more likely to say it as it is than some of your friends and family. They just don't want to alienate you in the process of telling you she is bad news so they don't step over that line.

if she "needs time", and moved all her shit out of your place while you were in jail than she is fucked in the HEAD. again clearly not a drinking problem, if it was just the booze she would have gotten your ass outta jail the next day, put the gas in the car the next morning, cleaned the house before your return, given you the best blowjob you ever got in your life when you got home, etc, etc...she obviously doesn't know what she did wrong, and believe me thats not an alchohol problem, she is probably bi-polar or something worse.

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post #7 of 112 (permalink) Old 03-08-2007, 02:14 PM
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Re: i need some real advice - long story

+ 1

Run, don't walk. The girl has problems with emotions & alcohol & commitment. And possibly issues with feelings for you, reading this crap she's putting you thru. You'll never 'fix' these issues, they'll be with her the rest of your lives together, so expect this kind of BS on an ongoing basis.

Don't mean to be hard, you obviously care for her greatly, but think about your own happiness spending a lifetime with a psycho fruit loop!
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post #8 of 112 (permalink) Old 03-08-2007, 02:20 PM
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Re: i need some real advice - long story

she never defended for you yet?
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post #9 of 112 (permalink) Old 03-08-2007, 02:21 PM
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Re: i need some real advice - long story

^
what they said! I honestly can't believe you want to try and resolve things after she left you in jail for 4 days and moved out.


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post #10 of 112 (permalink) Old 03-08-2007, 02:29 PM Thread Starter
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Re: i need some real advice - long story

[quote author=budgy link=topic=71442.msg1256651#msg1256651 date=1173380647]
if she "needs time", and moved all her shit out of your place while you were in jail than she is fucked in the HEAD. again clearly not a drinking problem, if it was just the booze she would have gotten your ass outta jail the next day, put the gas in the car the next morning, cleaned the house before your return, given you the best blowjob you ever got in your life when you got home, etc, etc...she obviously doesn't know what she did wrong, and believe me thats not an alchohol problem, she is probably bi-polar or something worse.
[/quote]

i guess i didn't detail this part good enough.. the police told her she had to move out, because the apartment was only in my name it was my place.. They said because of the automatic restraining order that was issued if I had any contact with her I would go to jail no questions asked.. So she moved out, the only way to get the restraining order off is if I am found not guilty and then she can go to the court and ask it to be removed.. We have still talked and she says that she didn't want to move she just didn't have a choice.. She didn't have much at my place anyways just basically clothes.. Also she didn't know how I was going to act to the whole situation she realized what had happened the next day and she thought I wouldn't want to see her ever again.. Shit I don't blame her she put me in jail!!!!

because of what i was in for they also had no bail, and it doesnt matter that she is not pressing charges the state takes over the case.. I guess here in WA they believe that if a domestic disturbance call is made than there is a problem.. I guess to many people have real issues but then take the person back and it just keeps happening so now the state decided to just handle these cases them selfs based off ONLY the police reports..
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