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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-30-2007, 12:53 PM Thread Starter
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Last year's idiot report

Number One Idiot of 2006

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.

~~ ~~~~~~~~~

Number Two Idiot of 2006
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

.
~~~~~~~

Number Three Idiot of 2006
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote "this. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left.
He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

~~ ~~~~~~~~~~

Number Four Idiot of 2006
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that; measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Five Idiot of 2006
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

~~~~~~~~

Idiot Number Six of 2006
A pair of robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven of 20056
: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.
So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
Yep, Here's your sign


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-30-2007, 01:01 PM
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Re: Last year's idiot report

Great Laugh!!!


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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-30-2007, 01:13 PM
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Re: Last year's idiot report

# 4 isn't an idiot, that's funny...I would do the same thing *lol*


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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-30-2007, 01:39 PM
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Re: Last year's idiot report

#4 is actually a joke I heard a couple years ago on Comedy Central ;-)


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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-30-2007, 02:07 PM
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Re: Last year's idiot report

it's people like idiot #1 that makes me want to pursue a career in the medicine field. And i'm envious of you being a med-student... but i dont know if that's a good thing, you're probably going through hell and one of the brokest mofos in town. Keep it up man, maybe in a year or two i'll take your place...
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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-30-2007, 03:07 PM
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Re: Last year's idiot report

Those are amusing. A girl friend of a friend of a friend was over at my New Year's Eve party and had some fun tales. She is a Nurse at a hospital in DC and gets fun stories. Her two favorite tales (sort of three, but the first two are connected) that she has witnessed in her 4 years of nursing are

1) A gentleman who had to have a double headed sex toy surgically removed from his GI tract because it was shoved in so far as to press against his diaphram rendering it difficult to breath.

2) The SAME gentleman came in about 3 months later needing to have an apple removed from his GI tract due to having it inserted in. As a doctor came around trying to find a nurse with small hands to reach the object the general consensus of every nurse asked was, 'sounds like a problem for a doctor to me'.

3) A student at GWU needed to have a shampoo bottle removed from her GI tract because she 'fell on it' and it became lodged. She of course was accompanied by her embaressed looking boy friend.
-Matt
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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-30-2007, 03:54 PM
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Re: Last year's idiot report

Priceless!!!

2006 Mazda3 Hatchback, Titanium Gray, Auto, No Mods Yet, Black & Red Interior, No Navigation (I know how to read a map)...
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-30-2007, 04:54 PM
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Re: Last year's idiot report

Most of those are OLD stories from like 2002 or earlier. While they are funny, I'd bet none of them actually happened in 2006.


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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-30-2007, 07:03 PM
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Re: Last year's idiot report

[quote author=ViperKillerWannabe link=topic=68228.msg1177317#msg1177317 date=1170194096]
Most of those are OLD stories from like 2002 or earlier. While they are funny, I'd bet none of them actually happened in 2006.
[/quote]

why spoil it? who cares when it happened?

MAZDAS and HARLEYS RULE
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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-06-2007, 11:57 PM
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Re: Last year's idiot report

looks like some of us are getting a jump on making the 2007 list :P

[quote author=edrection link=topic=71193.msg1250450#msg1250450 date=1173140224]
Can we get a section and some kind of voting system for a car of the month? Maybe a mod (or me ) can screen out those who dont qualify and setup some kind of vote. And then maybe show it off on the forum's main page.

Just a suggestion. I'm sure that modifying or adding to the forum probably takes a good amount of work, but Id like to see a COTM.
[/quote]


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