Losing a family member - FMVperformance.com : The site for all your Ford Mazda and Volvo needs
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post #1 of 20 (permalink) Old 10-31-2006, 08:00 PM Thread Starter
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Losing a family member

I'm up there in age now where I should be getting used to the possibility of losing older family members i.e. grandparents, but it still doesn't prepare me for it. I just found out my grandmother is in intensive care and might not make it. I'm just wondering how other forum members have dealt with the loss of a loved one.
-Stephanie


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post #2 of 20 (permalink) Old 10-31-2006, 08:11 PM
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Re: Losing a family member

when the time comes...don't be afraid to cry. A lot of people tend to try to keep their feelings because they feel that it's not "cool" to cry.Also, think of the good times , it will help you thru it.
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post #3 of 20 (permalink) Old 10-31-2006, 08:14 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Losing a family member

I just feel real bad. I feel like I haven't called enough and with me being in the military, I can't just hop on a plane to make sure everything is ok.


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post #4 of 20 (permalink) Old 10-31-2006, 08:22 PM
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Re: Losing a family member

Don't let feelings of guilt consume you. Your grandmother knows how you feel towards her, and you can bet that she will be thinking of you . All you can do now is pray ( and that's not un-cool ) for her recovery.
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post #5 of 20 (permalink) Old 10-31-2006, 08:26 PM
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Re: Losing a family member

well sorry to hear that but remember that is part of life, hard to deal with yes, but part of it. best thing to do is remember the good times and move on, dont hold the person too close to you when they pass because it wont do you any good, you have to move on.


if they are in pain, of course passing may be the best thing, some times people cant get out of what ever ills them and its just their time to go. if it hits you too hard, talk to people. sometimes letting all those feelings out is the best thing to do in order to move foward. people dont understand the importance of talking.... it helps "escape" some of the things that CAN hurt you if you keep them inside and like i said, remember the good times.





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post #6 of 20 (permalink) Old 10-31-2006, 08:34 PM
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Re: Losing a family member

Well said, Dubs.

[quote author=crazyduckme link=topic=177063.msg3770321#msg3770321 date=1282314647]
I told Brandon.... we can try it out once we're married. that's just my rule.

and I dun look mexican, do I?
[/quote]
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post #7 of 20 (permalink) Old 10-31-2006, 08:36 PM
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Re: Losing a family member

[quote author=RB link=topic=61192.msg1043554#msg1043554 date=1162344881]
Well said, Dubs.
[/quote]...x2
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post #8 of 20 (permalink) Old 10-31-2006, 08:52 PM
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Re: Losing a family member

our prayers are with you and your nana. as for coping, be the person your nana wanted you to be. keep in mind that your successes are her's too and your joy will be hers in heaven. everyone has regrets about not spending enuff time...do something charitible in her name if she passes as a way to reconcile that if you need to.

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post #9 of 20 (permalink) Old 11-01-2006, 08:11 AM
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Re: Losing a family member

Hopefully your Grandmother will pull through all right.

Everyone deals with loss a bit differently. I lost my grandfather (maternal) when I was 10 (found him again a few years later, sorry, joke in poor taste). My grandmother (maternal) developed bad dimensia about a year later and had to be put in a nursing home since she couldn't remember to do things like eat, etc on her own anymore. She died when I was 19. My paternal grandfather died last November (so when I was 22).

It is not easy watching someone you know and love die. I can't honestly say whether it is better to lose a loved one quickly or slowly, in all three cases my grandparents died pretty slowly. I guess that has the advantage of being able to come to peace with their death and to say anything you feel you need to to your loved one, but it also means you have to watch them die slowly and that can be intensely painful. Then again when I was 10 I didn't truely understand that my grandfather was dying, I just knew he was really sick (I understood about death when he died, I just didn't realize up until that point that he would). So in a sense to me he died suddenly.

Something that really does help a lot are friends and family. If you happen to be religous a priest, reverend, minister, rabbi, or other religous figure who might happen to be close to you or your family can also help a lot. It hurts, and it hurts for awhile. It is never good to no grieve for a loved one, it only makes it worse. Talk about them, those fun and even sad memories hurt BAD for awhile, but after awhile they don't hurt as much to remember. Over time it hurts less to think about them. I have found it never doesn't hurt to think about them, but it is usually a very dull kind of hurt and sometimes not at all thinking or talking about them.

It is cheesy, it truely is, to say that life goes on and its the cycle of life and all that, but it is more or less true. That doesn't mean it hurts less when someone you care about dies, but that is a part of life just as much as someone being born is.
-Matt
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post #10 of 20 (permalink) Old 11-01-2006, 08:36 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Losing a family member

Thank you for all the positive feedback and your well wishes. Im still waiting on hearing any news. No news is good news right?


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