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post #1 of 38 (permalink) Old 10-27-2006, 11:35 AM Thread Starter
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Love tips by yours truly

These sure fire tips will get any woman lusting for you.

Use with caution, or you may find yourself overwhelmed with women.

How To Treat A Lady

1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "Could be better."
This will keep her on her toes,
and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. Or--if she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)

3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over.
Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is say "You better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning.
This will show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most.
Then--when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Because jewelry is for wussies.

7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she’s looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words "F*ck You" and grab the other girls ass. Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."

9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick." Women love those special nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when she’s cold...and not by giving her your jacket... then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "If you don't stop bitching about the cold right now you're going to be bitching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately.
Come back right
when the parties dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet...kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things...like basketball.

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. If you care about her never ever tell her this will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time you’re in her house steal one of the following:
shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she'll go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she’s about to order interrupt and say "No, she’s not hungry." Make her watch you eat.
Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile...then clock her one. Girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of your t-shirts......and make sure it has your smell on it. But not a sexy cologne smell...a bad smell. You know what I’m talking about.

21. When it’s raining keep asking her if she’s crying. She'll say "No, it’s just the rain." Ten minutes later turn to her and just scream "Stop crying you f*cking baby!" Girls like a tough man as I've already stated.

22. Titty twisters...and plenty of them.

23. If you're listening to music and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.

24. Two words...Dutch Oven.

25. Remember her birthday but don't get her anything. Teach her material objects aren’t important. The only thing that’s important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

26. If she’s mad at you for not calling her when you say you will promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day.
This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call you’re going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited. Now don’t call.

27. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then, next time you know she's coming over on a trash day, leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much but I think it's funny.

Freshly stolen from a blam near you.


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post #2 of 38 (permalink) Old 10-27-2006, 11:38 AM
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Re: Love tips by yours truly

As a female, I can guarantee these tips will work. Girls love this.

**not on this forum and not unless its in a for sale thread.
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post #3 of 38 (permalink) Old 10-27-2006, 11:46 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Love tips by yours truly

[quote author=stephanie link=topic=60804.msg1035330#msg1035330 date=1161963527]
As a female, I can guarantee these tips will work. Girls love this.
[/quote]



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post #4 of 38 (permalink) Old 10-27-2006, 12:44 PM
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Re: Love tips by yours truly

Quote:
7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she’s looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words "F*ck You" and grab the other girls ass. Girls love competition.
I, no shit, have done this. It did not end well.
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post #5 of 38 (permalink) Old 10-27-2006, 12:46 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Love tips by yours truly

LOL wtf were you thinking?


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post #6 of 38 (permalink) Old 10-27-2006, 12:50 PM
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Re: Love tips by yours truly

[quote author=FrostyFire link=topic=60804.msg1035518#msg1035518 date=1161967571]
LOL wtf were you thinking?
[/quote]

actually, I was thinking "this is what you get for dragging me to this shitty bar only to ignore me while you chat with your stupid bitch friends all night...except those times when you asked me to go buy you another drink. Hey...this chick isn't as ugly as she was 3 drinks ago..hey baby!"
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post #7 of 38 (permalink) Old 10-27-2006, 12:51 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Love tips by yours truly



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post #8 of 38 (permalink) Old 10-27-2006, 12:55 PM
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Re: Love tips by yours truly

[quote author=murph182 link=topic=60804.msg1035535#msg1035535 date=1161967852]
[quote author=FrostyFire link=topic=60804.msg1035518#msg1035518 date=1161967571]
LOL wtf were you thinking?
[/quote]

actually, I was thinking "this is what you get for dragging me to this shitty bar only to ignore me while you chat with your stupid bitch friends all night...except those times when you asked me to go buy you another drink. Hey...this chick isn't as ugly as she was 3 drinks ago..hey baby!"
[/quote]



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post #9 of 38 (permalink) Old 10-27-2006, 03:39 PM
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Re: Love tips by yours truly

I am still dumb founded. I assume your relationship wasn't to deep. If it was...then damn dude, you need some relationship advice if you thought that would ever end well (or is appropriate).

Sometimes my lady likes #10...so long as it isn't to hard and only at the appropriate times.
-Matt
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post #10 of 38 (permalink) Old 10-27-2006, 04:23 PM
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Re: Love tips by yours truly

[quote author=azazel1024 link=topic=60804.msg1036024#msg1036024 date=1161977942]
I am still dumb founded. I assume your relationship wasn't to deep. If it was...then damn dude, you need some relationship advice if you thought that would ever end well (or is appropriate).
[/quote]

It was in college, with a girl that I had been dating for approximately 2 weeks.
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