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post #1 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-10-2006, 12:41 PM
RymanH24
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Worse Feeling Ever

Today November 10, 2006.

My friend was killed in a car accident.

I did'nt know it was him until I ran up to his SUV and saw him dead, slouched over in the drivers seat.
I was at home when the call came out and drove to the firehall.
Got on the Rescue truck and was the last truck there.

But when I saw it was him, everything in my body shut down and I nearly collapsed.
I sat on the fire truck the entire time we were there and just could not believe it.

That was when i felt the Worse Feeling Ever.

If you have ever seen a dead beloved one or a friend, I could use coping tips.
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post #2 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-10-2006, 12:45 PM
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Re: Worse Feeling Ever

Realizing that life must go on for the rest of us is really the only coping tip I know of. In times like this it has helped me to remember that my friend / relative wouldn't want me to get mired down in the sorrow of the situation, no matter how hard it was to try to pull yourself up by your boot straps and remember what his contributions were to your life. If your friend was watching you from above right now, wouldn't he rather see you smiling in rememberance of him, rather than to see you cry that he's gone?

I'm very sorry for your loss. It's never easy, and there's no one piece of advice that applies to everyone, but that's the one that has worked for me in the past.
post #3 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-10-2006, 12:46 PM
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Re: Worse Feeling Ever

no tips at all. just take it a day at a time and spend some time with his family and friends remembering and celebrating your good buddy's life.

we're here for you.

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post #4 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-10-2006, 01:09 PM
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Re: Worse Feeling Ever

yeah 3 of my friends have died in accidents. not one time did i go to the call though. i dont think i could even stand or even sit on the rig. you did better then i would have. its tough i know but its all about taking it one day at a time

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post #5 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-10-2006, 01:12 PM
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Re: Worse Feeling Ever

november 10 2006 in future?

Driving a 2010 mazda 3 gt with sunroof bone stock

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post #6 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-10-2006, 01:53 PM
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Re: Worse Feeling Ever

Sorry, ment October. Just so much is going on in my mind, couldn't think straight.
post #7 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-10-2006, 02:34 PM
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Re: Worse Feeling Ever

[quote author=RymanH24 link=topic=59291.msg1002381#msg1002381 date=1160498484]
If you have ever seen a dead beloved one or a friend, I could use coping tips.
[/quote]

whatever you do, DO NOT KEEP YOUR FEELINGS TO YOURSELF.

talk to family, friends, clergy, whatever. Even if they can't fully understand what you're dealing with, that's ok. Your department has, hopefully, a professional trained in this kind of thing. Use that option.

There's nothing wrong with grieving, nothing wrong with just freaking out. But the minute you internalize it, refuse to talk about it, or think that you're the only person around that has dealt with it...that's when it will start to control your life.

so, my coping tip: talk. a lot. especially when you're having a really bad time dealing with it.
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post #8 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-10-2006, 02:36 PM
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Re: Worse Feeling Ever

I know how it feels... i've lost acouple of friends also but the one that hurts me the most happened like 3 weekends ago when my friend who was also my barber was at a party, people there started problems one thing lead to another and he got stabbed 3 times and then shot to death. When I found out it didnt hit me that hard but when i went to his memorial ceremony they had a picture of him at the entrance of the church and i just broke down crying. I know the pain you're having its the worst feeling knowing that you arent going to speak to that person again, but you cant beat yourself up about it things happen for a reason. * *

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post #9 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-10-2006, 02:43 PM
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Re: Worse Feeling Ever

[quote author=murph182 link=topic=59291.msg1002607#msg1002607 date=1160505241]
[quote author=RymanH24 link=topic=59291.msg1002381#msg1002381 date=1160498484]
If you have ever seen a dead beloved one or a friend, I could use coping tips.
[/quote]

whatever you do, DO NOT KEEP YOUR FEELINGS TO YOURSELF.

talk to family, friends, clergy, whatever. Even if they can't fully understand what you're dealing with, that's ok. Your department has, hopefully, a professional trained in this kind of thing. Use that option.

There's nothing wrong with grieving, nothing wrong with just freaking out. But the minute you internalize it, refuse to talk about it, or think that you're the only person around that has dealt with it...that's when it will start to control your life.

so, my coping tip: talk. a lot. especially when you're having a really bad time dealing with it.
[/quote]


+1

there are some proffesions that make you talk to shrinks( evaluations by a shirnk) talking baout things is the best way to let out all that has happened and you have seen, if you keep it all inside you will blow up and bad things can happen.


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post #10 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-10-2006, 03:20 PM
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Re: Worse Feeling Ever

Nothing is worse then having to act in a situation that involves someone close to you. I have never been as distracted and troubled for what to do on the fire ground then when I went to a fire at my ex-wifes parent's house several years ago. Fortunately everyone was out, but there were questions initially about possible entrapment.

Just remember that there was nothing that you could have done differently to prevent what happened. Also, get involved with your department's counselor sooner then later.

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