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post #1 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-30-2005, 12:29 AM Thread Starter
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Need some advice

Ok, so I have a friend, hes been my best friend for 6 years now, we always hang out becuase we went to high school together.... well recently i guess my mom had some beef with his mom and now they hate each other, and my mom is trying to stop me from going to his house becuase "his mom lives there".... How do i handle this? I mean i dont even know what to do, shes threatening to take away my gas money and everything if i keep hanging out with my best friend, which i think is jacked up. My friend has always respected my mom and my dad and hes never done anything to them, and he is far from being his mother.... I dont see what the problem is with me chillin with him but my mom gets almost verbally violent whenever i say im going to go to his house.... she always starts threatening me to do shit to me if i meet with him..

Its always the same argument with my mom, she always says "well his mother lives tehre, so i dont want u anywhere near his house", and that argument sounds completely pointless to me, i mean he is NOT his mother, hes a nice person to my parents, why shouldnt i be able to meet with him?

Advice? (yes i am 19, so i dont see the problem, her argument makes no sense)

I now own a 2008 350z Base MT
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post #2 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-30-2005, 12:33 AM
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Re: Need some advice

saying your going to another friends house?


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post #3 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-30-2005, 12:36 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Need some advice

[quote author=Danger Mouse link=topic=36559.msg526565#msg526565 date=1135917208]
saying your going to another friends house?
[/quote]
I can and often i do, but my mom gets word of it if im at his house, im sure his mom has something to do with that... (his mom has the biggest mouth in the whole world, shes not mean or anything to anybody except my mom, but my mom is the type of person that if shes paranoid, she will find out as much as she can until she gets an answer, it blows, i know)

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post #4 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-30-2005, 12:37 AM
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Re: Need some advice

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post #5 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-30-2005, 12:42 AM
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Re: Need some advice

get a job to pay for gas
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post #6 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-30-2005, 12:53 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Need some advice

[quote author=Roxy link=topic=36559.msg526569#msg526569 date=1135917444]

try to talk to your mom... but i know that can be tough.
[/quote]
Just talked with her for the past hour and a half, thats what i got out of the convo (what i listed up there in quotes, she keeps repeating that over and over, i KNOW for a fact that she just doesnt want me over there, period, she doesnt have a particular reason besides not liking his mother.)

As for a job... No. If i got a job to pay for gas... i would be paying $400 alone on gas per month, i cant afford that, with 21 units next semester, its not an option. Im asking for a different way around it, a way around this situation itself, not around the technicalities...

I now own a 2008 350z Base MT
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post #7 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-30-2005, 09:38 AM
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Re: Need some advice

Do you know, and can you tell us, the specific nature of "the beef?" If it's something like "she told someone that my ass looked fat" then that's one thing. But if she has some kind of actual, real problem with her (she sells crack to school children or participates in wife swapping) then your mom may just be trying to protect you from what she sees as a bad situation. Yeah, I know you're 19 but moms are always going to be moms.

When all is said and done, though, the advice is the same as it is for Roxy: assuming that you can't have a mature, reasonable conversation with her about it then you can either A) live with it or B) move out. You're 19 and an adult, and it would be nice if you mom would treat you as such, but if you're going to get all the benefits of living at home then you have to make some concessions. One of those is that your mom gets to treat you like a child.

Do what you can to resolve the situation. Get your mom to tell you under exactly what circumstances it IS ok for you to see your friend. Try and reason with her, and explain that her fights are not your fights. But in the end, it's either choice A or choice B.
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post #8 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-30-2005, 10:12 AM
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Re: Need some advice

^ Agree with Murph! (What's this, the second time ever?)

You definitely have to have a talk with Mom and determine the cause of her bitterness. Without communication, all relationships are nearly worthless.

I also agree with Murph's second paragraph fully and I try to explain that to a friend of mine that still lives with her parents. If you live at home you have to expect some level of control. As far as the gas money goes - wow you burn a lot of gas! Is that 1000 miles per week?



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post #9 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-30-2005, 10:55 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Need some advice

[quote author=zobx link=topic=36559.msg526850#msg526850 date=1135951975]
^ Agree with Murph! (What's this, the second time ever?)

You definitely have to have a talk with Mom and determine the cause of her bitterness. Without communication, all relationships are nearly worthless.

I also agree with Murph's second paragraph fully and I try to explain that to a friend of mine that still lives with her parents. If you live at home you have to expect some level of control. As far as the gas money goes - wow you burn a lot of gas! Is that 1000 miles per week?
[/quote]
I do roughly 300 miles a week, or 1200 a month, my car gets REALLY crappy gas mileage, between 15-17mpg... i get about 220 out of a tank if im lucky

but murph, the beef is that his mom spread rumors to my mom's friends about my mom's mother...

its that kinda beef, but it has nothing to do with ME or my friend... my mom told me i can meet with him anywher ebut his house, but thats where me and him have ALWYAS chilled, thats like telling the new orlean saints that they cant play in new orleans, they would be pissed (and they are)... but anyways, i guess ill just have to meet with him elsewhere, but its hard because his mom usually doesnt let him out of the house, thats why i would always go there to his place

I now own a 2008 350z Base MT
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post #10 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-30-2005, 11:04 PM
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Re: Need some advice

[quote author=BoostThat3 link=topic=36559.msg526576#msg526576 date=1135917778]
get a job to pay for gas
[/quote]



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