Funny Army Story - FMVperformance.com : The site for all your Ford Mazda and Volvo needs
 
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post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 12-23-2005, 10:25 PM Thread Starter
Le Mans: Prototype Class
 
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Funny Army Story

I came across this on another site. Not mine but funny nonetheless.


So anyway, I am in basic training at Ft. Benning in the summer of 92. Family day has arrived and since no family came, I go downtown with a bunch of other guys and get a motel. It turns out that one of the guys in my platoon has his sister coming to visit. So anyway, you had about 30 horny as hell guys trying to poke this girl. Oh man was she a beauty! Or at least she was to a guy that had not been laid in two months. Okay, okay, she was a big girl. So anyway, a bunch of us are in the pool and she is making her rounds trying to take her pick. She must have felt like Cinderella instead of Orca at that moment in time. Anyway, I was not going to let this butterball get away so I decided to raise the bar and told her to have a look under water. When she did, I whipped out "Little Private Luna" and made him stand at attention. The other guys around are wondering what just transpired because now she is only talking to me.

So anyway, not a half hour later I'm riding this moped (fun to ride, but you don't want your friends to see you on one) and I'm barely hanging on. I'm slapping that ass with one hand, hanging onto the headboard, hair, rolls, anything I can to stay on with the other. I felt like I was wrestling a manatee. She's yelling "harder" and I'm afraid to go harder cause I might fly off. The waves were coming in in sets of four. 8 seconds ain't shit, a cowboy has nothing on me. At one point I wanted to offer to take her to Burger King if she would take it easy on me. Then she wants me to talk dirty to her. For the life of me I could think of nothing nice to say. I'm concerned about staying alive here. The she tells me she wants to get on top. I don't remember much after that........

The moral of this story is that it's fun to ride a fat girl once in a while. Especially when there is nothing else available.

The End

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post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 12-24-2005, 10:35 AM
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Re: Funny Army Story

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