economic policies explained - FMVperformance.com : The site for all your Ford Mazda and Volvo needs
 
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 07-28-2005, 03:50 AM Thread Starter
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Location: PA, USA
Posts: 5,896
economic policies explained

DEMOCRAT ECONOMICS:
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN ECONOMICS:
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST ECONOMICS:
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST ECONOMICS:
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRATIC ECONOMICS, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one,
milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATE ECONOMICS:
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd
one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You
are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the
analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up. Your CEO gets a huge bonus.

FRENCH CORPORATE ECONOMICS:
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.


JAPANESE CORPORATE ECONOMICS:
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary
cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATE ECONOMICS:
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give
excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATE ECONOMICS:
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATE ECONOMICS:
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN ECONOMICS:
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature'
private parts. You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find
alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI ECONOMICS:
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

BELGIAN CORPORATE ECONOMICS
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA ECONOMICS:
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best
accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure to how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you
think is the best-looking cow.

CALIFORNIA ECONOMICS:
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegal.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders


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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 07-28-2005, 08:36 AM
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Location: DC
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Re: economic policies explained

hahahahaha. yeah, it's old, but it's still funny.

Internet Economics

you have no c0w5orz
you post in a forum that you have many
everyone elses c0w5orz are fags
SHUT THE HELL UP, I"ll KICK YOUR c0w5orz ASS
I'd hit it.
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 07-28-2005, 10:26 AM Thread Starter
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Re: economic policies explained

Quote:
Originally Posted by "murph182"
I'd hit it.
Classic


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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 07-28-2005, 11:21 AM
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Re: economic policies explained

hahaha that was funny.

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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 07-28-2005, 03:48 PM
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Posts: 234
Re: economic policies explained

the democrat versoin should say "government taxes you for having more cows than your neighbor", which is eerily similar to the socialist version......

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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 07-28-2005, 04:18 PM
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Re: economic policies explained

nice..hahaha
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 07-28-2005, 11:47 PM
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Re: economic policies explained

That, was the funniest shit I've seen in weeks!

I actually saved it to Word.

Too bad my economics teachers couldn't explain Macro so well.

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