Thoughts on Men and Ultimate Happiness. - FMVperformance.com : The site for all your Ford Mazda and Volvo needs
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post #1 of 15 (permalink) Old 06-20-2005, 03:45 PM Thread Starter
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Thoughts on Men and Ultimate Happiness.

Men Are Just Happier People - What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress - $5000. Tux rental - $100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood - all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a six-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier!
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post #2 of 15 (permalink) Old 06-20-2005, 03:52 PM
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Re: Thoughts on Men and Ultimate Happiness.

keep this stuf coming

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post #3 of 15 (permalink) Old 06-20-2005, 03:55 PM
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Re: Thoughts on Men and Ultimate Happiness.

Hehe those are funny But true for the most part.
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post #4 of 15 (permalink) Old 06-20-2005, 05:01 PM
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Re: Thoughts on Men and Ultimate Happiness.

So why is it that we don't live longer than women???

work to live

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post #5 of 15 (permalink) Old 06-20-2005, 05:04 PM
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Re: Thoughts on Men and Ultimate Happiness.

Because they took a damn rib from us

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post #6 of 15 (permalink) Old 06-20-2005, 05:08 PM
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Re: Thoughts on Men and Ultimate Happiness.

lol. that one was good too.

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post #7 of 15 (permalink) Old 06-20-2005, 05:33 PM
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Re: Thoughts on Men and Ultimate Happiness.

LOL!!

I thought we had given up that rib to the Almighty so that we could be women on this planet??

work to live

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post #8 of 15 (permalink) Old 06-20-2005, 05:36 PM
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Re: Thoughts on Men and Ultimate Happiness.

god created the earth and rested
god created men and rested
god created women and has not rested since

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post #9 of 15 (permalink) Old 06-20-2005, 05:55 PM
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Re: Thoughts on Men and Ultimate Happiness.

Most of u may already know this one:

The Almighty created man (Adam) and surrounded him with a beautiful environment -- animals, trees, rivers, etc...

Although he was very thankful, Adam was not happy. The Almightly realized this and made Adam an offer:

"Adam, I can create a partner for you. One who is loving and will be by your side, supporting and caring for you no matter what the circumstances..."

Adam replied "Great, can you really make this happen. Because I feel really lonely?"

The Almighty said "I can but it is going to cost you your left testicle."

Adam, somewhat shocked, pondered for a while and responsed "Well, what can I get for a rib?"

The Almighty then smiled and the rest, as they say, is history...

work to live

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post #10 of 15 (permalink) Old 06-20-2005, 05:56 PM
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Re: Thoughts on Men and Ultimate Happiness.

that is funny

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