Jokes... - FMVperformance.com : The site for all your Ford Mazda and Volvo needs
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post #1 of 29 (permalink) Old 06-16-2005, 05:43 AM Thread Starter
Grand Am Series
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: S.F. Area CA
Posts: 342
Jokes...

A driver ran the red light, and the cop pulled him over and said, " Didn't you see the red light?" and the driver said, "Yes, but i just didn't see you"

lol..hope u put a smile on a few of you.

feel free add to the collection

You will miss 100% of the shot you never take!

05 Winning Blue S
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post #2 of 29 (permalink) Old 06-16-2005, 05:54 AM
Short Track Racer
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Brisbane, Australia
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Jokes...

2 muffins were in an oven

the one muffin said to the other: "its getting pretty hot in here!"

the other muffin replies: "Holy f***, a talking muffin!"


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post #3 of 29 (permalink) Old 06-16-2005, 08:17 AM Thread Starter
Grand Am Series
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: S.F. Area CA
Posts: 342
Jokes...

LOL

You will miss 100% of the shot you never take!

05 Winning Blue S
Auto Tranny
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post #4 of 29 (permalink) Old 06-16-2005, 10:18 AM
F1 Driver
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 3,335
Jokes...

A Cop pulls an Irish Catholic Priest over for drunk driving. When he walks up to the car he can immediately smell the alcohol just pouring off the priest. "You been drinking?" he asks. "Why no officer, I don't drink," replies the priest. So the cop asks, "whats that bottle on your passenger seat." "Oh, that just water," says the priest. "Looks like wine to me," says the cop, "and its just about empty." The priest looks over and exclaims, "Jesus Christ its a miracle!! He's done it again!!!"

2004 Mazda3 i sedan || Automatic || Strato Blue
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post #5 of 29 (permalink) Old 06-16-2005, 10:46 AM
F1 Driver
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: New Haven, Connecticut
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Jokes...

I don't remember where I read this (it was probably on here) but I found it wildly funny.

A cop pulls over a guy for speeding and walks to the guys window and with a sly grin says "I've been waiting for you all day." To this the driver responded with "Well I tried to get here as fast as possible."

Titanium Grey HB 5 spd, ABS, Moonroof, Leather seats, Exel RS-GT 17x7.0 Hyperblack 225/45/17 Azenis RT-615, Racing Beat Front/Rear Sway + Endlinks, Mazdaspeed MSP3 Coilovers, 88 AWR Mount, Apexcone 6000k HID, I deturboed my car and removed my built engine. I'm now stock powertrain + an Injen.
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post #6 of 29 (permalink) Old 06-16-2005, 11:19 AM
F1 Driver
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Pimpin
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Jokes...

Repost

http://mazda3forums.com/viewtopic.ph...ighlight=jokes

Mazda3 2.3 Titanium Gray
Tint 60/Rest Limo | Umnitza SRI | Red Brake Calipers | TWN Short Shifter | Draxas Cat Back with High Flow Cat | 18" Niche F-16's with Kuhmo ASX 225/40/18's | Kenwood 915DVD Headunit | Escort 8500 Radar | CompuStar 2WSS-AS | MTX 1501d* powering RF 12" Power HX2 | HP-152.27 TQ-148.67 |
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post #7 of 29 (permalink) Old 06-16-2005, 12:26 PM
F1 Driver
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: DC
Posts: 3,147
Jokes...

How does an elephant hide in a cherry tree?

he paints his balls red

what's the loudest sound in the jungle?

monkies eating cherries.
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post #8 of 29 (permalink) Old 06-16-2005, 12:49 PM
F1 Driver
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 3,335
Jokes...

What do you get when you cross a duck billed platypus with a hairy dog turd??

.....YOUR MOM!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHA

seriously though

2004 Mazda3 i sedan || Automatic || Strato Blue
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post #9 of 29 (permalink) Old 06-19-2005, 05:58 AM
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Jokes...

wa?
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post #10 of 29 (permalink) Old 06-19-2005, 12:17 PM
Grand Am Series
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Minot,ND
Posts: 493
Jokes...

A drunk driver witnesses an accident. The car in front of him swerves off the road and flips 3 times and crashes into a tree. The driver is okay and gets out of the car unharmed. Heres the conversation between the drunk driver and the wrecked car driver:

Drunk: You okay?

Driver: Yes, I had god as my passenger!!

Drunk: You better let him ride with me, you almost killed him!!!
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