addiction - FMVperformance.com : The site for all your Ford Mazda and Volvo needs
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 38 (permalink) Old 06-02-2005, 10:39 AM Thread Starter
Le Mans: Prototype Class
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Schweinfurt, Germany
Posts: 1,408
Send a message via AIM to SpeedoLover
addiction

For the past 3 years i have been struggling with an addiction to opiates. It is causing me to waste hundreds of dollars which i could be using to buy sweet stuff for my car, and i need help.
It started out my junior year in highschool i got ahold of an enormous bottle of percocets for free which had about 50 pills in it. I hid this from everyone else and would take these everyday befor school. By the end of the bottle i had grown a heavy tolerance and was stealing pills from other peoples cabinets and alwasys askin around if friends had any or there parents did that i could buy off of them. This causing me to go into deep depression.A year later i finally overcame my depression but have stepped it up to oxy contin and morphine and have since steadily done opiates atleast 4 times a week. In one night i will rail 40 mgs of oc which costs from 30 - 40 dollars. I have enough will power to stop my self at that level and will not do heroin for i know i would get addicted. Ive come to a point where im sick of being a slave and want to help myself on my own with out going to detox or rehab. I went to drug counseling for about 5 months year and a half ago, i can say i am happy as a person and am not depressed but still have a opiate problem.
Im not telling my story for pitty but to look for solutions and maybe similar storys.

[size=9px]2.3L- Silver -20% Tint-AEM Intake-Falken Ziex512s-MTX Audio Amp + 12 in. Sub-Infinity Reference Speakers-GTB-Silver Painted Interior Pieces-OEM Pedals & Custom Dead Pedal-Tein Springs(on its way to my home now)[/size]
SpeedoLover is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 38 (permalink) Old 06-02-2005, 10:45 AM
F1 Driver
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Iowa
Posts: 12,421
addiction

Best thing to do is remove yourself from the environment. Do your friend also do these drugs? If so you need disassociate yourself from them for a little while to help yourself and make sure that you are no being subjected to any type of peer pressure..other than removing yourself from the situation I dont know what else to say. Good luck man and I hope you kick the habit. Im sure there is a turbo with your name on it waiting to be bought with your drug money.
mz3szoomzoom is offline  
post #3 of 38 (permalink) Old 06-02-2005, 10:47 AM
F1 Driver
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 3,335
addiction

I have an alcohol addiction I'm always trying to deal with. I always feel the need for "just one beer" after work or something and once I have one I can never stop, those damn things are like Lay's Potato Chips. I've been trying to deal with it on my own as well. AA tries to shove a bunch of Christian stuff down yer throat, and me not being Christian made me hate it horribly. I'm doing better and better, drinking less, but its so difficult for me to stop altogether and when I start going there really is no stopping me. I used to drive drunk all the time too, but I stopped that, thankfully, and never wrecked or hurt anyone, or got pulled over...lucky. Long story short, I'm doing a lot better now. I do occasionaly drink to excess but very rarely, and I am now able to handle having a drink with dinner and being ok with just stopping there. Don't believe all those people that tell you the only way to stop is by going to some support group. It certainly helps, but you can stop on your own. Just take a step back and look at yourself..you probably won't want to stay the way you are forever, and when you decide to do something about it I'm sure you'll be able to stop. Sorry for the horribly long post

2004 Mazda3 i sedan || Automatic || Strato Blue
Kodos is offline  
post #4 of 38 (permalink) Old 06-02-2005, 11:37 AM
F1 Driver
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: DC
Posts: 3,147
addiction

Quote:
Ive come to a point where im sick of being a slave and want to help myself on my own with out going to detox or rehab. I went to drug counseling for about 5 months year and a half ago, i can say i am happy as a person and am not depressed but still have a opiate problem.
Well, then, it sounds like doing it on your own has really worked. You have a problem, you want to quit, but you can't, and you don't want to actually do anything to quit.

I'll come back to you in a minute.

Quote:
It certainly helps, but you can stop on your own.
really? Because you stopped, right?

Quote:
you probably won't want to stay the way you are forever, and when you decide to do something about it I'm sure you'll be able to stop.
no, you both WILL stay the same way forever, or until you hit the absolute bottom.

One of the things that you have to realize is that you have absolutely no control over your addiction. Do you really want to be an addict? Probably not. So why can't you just stop? Because the addiction controls you. story: a friend of mine was addicted to heroin. One day I went over to his house and found him on the ground and not breathing. I breathed for him until the ambulance showed up. They took care of him at the hospital and sent him home the next day, along with some hefty legal problems from the cops. I was at his house when he came home, at first he was very grateful. I was just glad he was alive. But when his parents told him straight up that this was NOT going to happen again and that he was either going to rehab or moving the hell out he looked me right in the eye and said, with more seriousness than I've ever seen from someone, "you should have let me die." That's the power that addiction has over you. The disease would rather have you die then give up the drug.

If you REALLY want to stop, then you NEED to go get help. If you got to an AA meeting and don't like it, then go to a different meeting the next day. You complained about the Christian influence in AA and all I can say is that AA is not a religious organization. Either you were at a meeting dominated by fundies or you weren't paying attention. Find another meeting. There are plenty. If you don't like AA, find another group. Again, there are plenty.

There are plenty of people that beat their addictions on their own. But you know what? If you could have done it, you would have. Cutting back is not quitting. You may just see it as a substance abuse problem, but I guarantee the people in your life are constantly affected by your behavior and actions, even when you aren't using or drinking. The advantage of joining a program of some sort is that while you get the treatment and help for the actual addiction, you also learn how your addiction works and how relationships are affected because of it. That's almost as important as actually quitting the drug.

So look...go to a meeting. If you don't like it, go to another one, and another, and another, every day that you can until you find one that you do like. And if you can't find one, then find a professional treament facility. But seriously, if you try and quit on your own you may make it but you probably won't. And even if you do, you'll still have the problems in your life that either caused you to start using, or that you caused while using.
murph182 is offline  
post #5 of 38 (permalink) Old 06-02-2005, 11:40 AM
Le Mans: GT Class
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Bluffton, SC
Posts: 637
Send a message via AIM to autox17 Send a message via MSN to autox17 Send a message via Yahoo to autox17
addiction

#1 - I don't think your avatar is helping you out on this one.

#2 - You've got to realize that you have the willpower deep down inside you to kick your addiction. If you really plan on doing this on your own, that is the only way you can overcome it. When you get the urge to pop a pill, step back, recognize that you are in control of your life and find something else to do...go for a drive, write in a journal, pray(meditate), whatever you need to do to get your mind off of it.

I hope that you are able to beat this addiction.

2004 Mazda 3s 5-door:
* - Velocity Red 5-speed: Leather - HID + TPMS - ABS Package - Moonroof + 6 CD

Mods:
* 3.5" Stubby Ant. - Mazda6 Dual-Tone Horn - K&N Panel Filter - TWM SS w/Bend - 215/50/17 Hankook Ventus HRII - Shaved Door Mouldings
autox17 is offline  
post #6 of 38 (permalink) Old 06-02-2005, 11:45 AM
F1 Driver
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 3,335
addiction

No I haven't stopped yet, but I'm getting better and better everyday. I've only recently decided to try to stop, and as with any such process it will not happen overnight. When I told him he'd be able to stop, I didn't mean he would actually be able to do it on his own, just that once he really decides to stop, he will be able to do it, as long as he really wants to. Maybe you should wait till its been awhile to tell me it's impossible to stop on my own and see what the result of my efforts is. The real key to quitting is WANTING to do it. You can go to a group if you feel like you should quit, but until you WANT to there is nothing they can do for you.

2004 Mazda3 i sedan || Automatic || Strato Blue
Kodos is offline  
post #7 of 38 (permalink) Old 06-02-2005, 12:22 PM
F1 Driver
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: DC
Posts: 3,147
addiction

Quote:
The real key to quitting is WANTING to do it. You can go to a group if you feel like you should quit, but until you WANT to there is nothing they can do for you.
I was under the impression that he WANTS to quit...

Quote:
It is causing me to waste hundreds of dollars which i could be using to buy sweet stuff for my car, and i need help.
Quote:
Ive come to a point where im sick of being a slave and want to help myself on my own with out going to detox or rehab.
Quote:
m not telling my story for pitty but to look for solutions
And I was under the impression that you WANT to quit as well. I also got the feeling that you went to an AA meeting and decided they "shove a bunch of Chrisitian stuff down yer throat" and that's why you decided meetings weren't for you. (again, that can only have been that particular meeting, and is NOT the actual AA program)

So forgive me when I see two people that seem like they WANT to quit, but don't want to actually do anything about it. Cutting back is not quitting. You'll always be an alcoholic, even if you never take another drink. Sobriety does not automatically result in Wellness, without which your sobriety means nothing. Learning how to understand and deal with that is the whole point of taking care of the addiction.

You're right, until you want to get free of it you never will. Good luck with your efforts, and remember that it's one day at a time. As long as you're sober right now, that's what matters. And not matter how many times you slip up, it's always worth it to try again.
murph182 is offline  
post #8 of 38 (permalink) Old 06-02-2005, 12:32 PM
Short Track Racer
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Daytona Beach, Fl.
Posts: 123
addiction

Okay..let me start by saying i am a recovering cocaine and alchohol addict going on 7.5years sober now.

#1: There is no such thing as will power!! Next time you have diarreah, try using your will power then

#2: you CAN NOT do it on your own..PERIOD!!! Get some help: family, friends, counselers, or do like i did, swallow your pride (or whatever it is stopping you) and check yourself into a rehab clinic..YOU NEED THE SUPPORT!!! trust me, the shit is going to be hard enough as it is, you do not/can not do it on your own.

you talked about it not happening overnight...bullshit, it has to happen overnight, you cant just ween yourself off of something like this, yeah its going to be rough but it has to be that way..you may think you are doing okay by rationing your habit, but your just making it worse day by day...

It is excellent that you realized you have a problem and even better that you wat to do something about it, but it will all be for shit if you dont just knuckle up and get it done the way it needs to be done..Addiction is a nasty bitch, I know from first hand experience, but it can be better, when you get out from under it and on with your life again it will all be worth it..not to say that once you finally kick it you are done..NO, it is a constant battle, however i will tell you that it gets easier day by day...

its time to knuckle up and swallow that lump in your throat and do what you know needs to be done..quit bullshitting yourself by just "slowing down"..it's not going to do you any good in the long run.

Rick


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
mrrick is offline  
post #9 of 38 (permalink) Old 06-02-2005, 12:32 PM Thread Starter
Le Mans: Prototype Class
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Schweinfurt, Germany
Posts: 1,408
Send a message via AIM to SpeedoLover
addiction

What really sucks is you want to think so bad your not addicted, that you can stop at any time,you tell your self you gonna stop but you just want one more note to end it on. That one more time seems to get repeated. Im not gonna deny that getting help is the best thing to do but i know i can do it myself. Im gonna give it a month to see how i do and if theres not a noticable amount of progress then i have no choice but to check myself into a program.

[size=9px]2.3L- Silver -20% Tint-AEM Intake-Falken Ziex512s-MTX Audio Amp + 12 in. Sub-Infinity Reference Speakers-GTB-Silver Painted Interior Pieces-OEM Pedals & Custom Dead Pedal-Tein Springs(on its way to my home now)[/size]
SpeedoLover is offline  
post #10 of 38 (permalink) Old 06-02-2005, 01:43 PM
F1 Driver
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: DC
Posts: 3,147
addiction

Quote:
Im gonna give it a month to see how i do and if theres not a noticable amount of progress then i have no choice but to check myself into a program.
I would suggest that you measure your progress by saying "in this last month, how many times have I used?"

If that number is greater 0, you need help.
murph182 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

  FMVperformance.com : The site for all your Ford Mazda and Volvo needs > Misc > Lounge

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the FMVperformance.com : The site for all your Ford Mazda and Volvo needs forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome