Warning Labels - FMVperformance.com : The site for all your Ford Mazda and Volvo needs
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-24-2005, 03:41 PM Thread Starter
F1 Driver
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Pimpin
Posts: 3,739
Send a message via AIM to RaGe Send a message via MSN to RaGe
Warning Labels

Warning Labels
Manufacturers of consumer products have to be liberal with the warning labels these days, lest they get sued. But for these, it's hard to know whether the company is being outright stupid or if they're simply targeting the most brain dead dumb among us.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Product Warnings:
"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.
"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.
"Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.
"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.
"Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.
"Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.
"Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.
"Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.
"This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool.
"Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant.
"Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.
"Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn.
"Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter.
"Battery may explore or leak." -- On a battery. See a scanned image.
"Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.
"Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.
"This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater.
"May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.
"Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock."
"Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box.
"Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup.
"Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee.
"Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.
"Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.
"Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old.
"Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery.
"Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion.
"Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer.
"Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.
"For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod.
"For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.
"Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener.
"Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.
"Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jetski.
"Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm.
"Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty.
"Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.
"Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.
"Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers.
"Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink.
"Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a milk crate.
"Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant.
"Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.
"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757.
"Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid.
"Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.
"Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." -- On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels.
"Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck.
"Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron.
"Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine.
"For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights.
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume.
"This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am." -- On a hospital's outside access door.
"Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.
"Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.
"Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermarket dessert box.
"Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box.
"Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter.
"Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." -- On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy.
"Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice.
"May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.
"Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warranty." -- A printed message that appears in a television advertisement when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is by using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan.
"Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.
"Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer.
"Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts.
"Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.
"Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds.
"Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.
"Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.
"Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.
"Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.
"Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.
"Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets.
"Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.
"Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.
"For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack.
"Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone.
"Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Assurances:
"Safe for use around pets." -- On a box of Arm & Hammer Cat Litter.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Small Print From Commercials:
"Do not use house paint on face." -- In a Visa commercial that depicts an expecting couple looking for paint at a hardware store.
"Do not drive cars in ocean." -- In a car commercial which shows a car in the ocean.
"Always drive on roads. Not on people." -- From a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert.
"For a limited time only." -- From a Rally's commercial that described how their burgers were fresh.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Signs and Notices:
"No stopping or standing." -- A sign at bus stops everywhere.
"Do not sit under coconut trees." -- A sign on a coconut palm in a West Palm Beach park circa 1950.
"These rows reserved for parents with children." -- A sign in a church.
"All cups leaving this store, rather full or empty, must be paid for." -- A sign in a Cumberland Farms in Hillsboro, New Hampshire.
"Malfunction: Too less water." -- A notice left on a coffee machine.
"Prescriptions cannot be filled by phone." -- On a form in a clinic.
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." -- On a bag of Fritos.
"Fits one head." -- On a hotel-provided shower cap box.
"Payment is due by the due date." -- On a credit card statement.
"No small children." -- On a laundromat triple washer.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Safety Procedures:
"Take care: new non-slip surface." -- On a sign in front of a newly renovated ramp that led to the entrance of a building.
"In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood, proceed uphill quickly." -- One of the emergency safety procedures at a summer camp.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ingredients:
"Ingredients: Artificially bleached flour, sugar, vegetable fat, yeast, salt, gluten, soya flour, emulsifier 472 (E) & 481, flour treatment agents, enzymes, water. May contain: fruit." -- The ingredients list on a package of fruit buns.
"100% pure yarn." -- On a sweater.
"Some materials may irritate sensitive skin. Please look at the materials if you believe this may be the case.
Materials:
Covering: 100% Unknown.
Stuffing: 100% Unknown."
-- On a pillow.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Instructions:
"Remove the plastic wrapper." -- The first instruction on a bag of microwave popcorn; to see the instructions, one first has to remove the plastic wrapper and unfold the pouch.
"Take one capsule by mouth three times daily until gone." -- On a box of pills.
"Open packet. Eat contents." -- Instructions on a packet of airline peanuts.
"Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat." -- Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11.
"Use like regular soap." -- On a bar of Dial soap.
"Instructions: usage known." -- Instructions on a can of black pepper.
"Serving suggestion: Defrost." -- On a Swann frozen dinner.
"Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants." -- On a bag of cat biscuits.
"In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors." -- In a car manual.
"Please include the proper portion of your bill." -- On the envelope for an auto insurance bill.
"The appliance is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the 'on' position." -- Instructions for an espresso kettle.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Requirements:
"Optional modem required." -- On a computer software package.

Mazda3 2.3 Titanium Gray
Tint 60/Rest Limo | Umnitza SRI | Red Brake Calipers | TWN Short Shifter | Draxas Cat Back with High Flow Cat | 18" Niche F-16's with Kuhmo ASX 225/40/18's | Kenwood 915DVD Headunit | Escort 8500 Radar | CompuStar 2WSS-AS | MTX 1501d* powering RF 12" Power HX2 | HP-152.27 TQ-148.67 |
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
**TOTALED**
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
RaGe is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-24-2005, 03:46 PM
F1 Driver
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 23,673
Send a message via AIM to untouchable
Warning Labels

^^^Too much time you your hands?


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
untouchable is offline  
post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-24-2005, 05:53 PM Thread Starter
F1 Driver
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Pimpin
Posts: 3,739
Send a message via AIM to RaGe Send a message via MSN to RaGe
Warning Labels

^ Yep i am work

Mazda3 2.3 Titanium Gray
Tint 60/Rest Limo | Umnitza SRI | Red Brake Calipers | TWN Short Shifter | Draxas Cat Back with High Flow Cat | 18" Niche F-16's with Kuhmo ASX 225/40/18's | Kenwood 915DVD Headunit | Escort 8500 Radar | CompuStar 2WSS-AS | MTX 1501d* powering RF 12" Power HX2 | HP-152.27 TQ-148.67 |
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
**TOTALED**
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
RaGe is offline  
post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-24-2005, 06:44 PM
F1 Driver
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Irvine and Fresno California
Posts: 3,713
Send a message via AIM to quiksilverx181
Warning Labels

ROFl i just read all those. Gave me a real kick out of reading those.

I now own a 2008 350z Base MT
quiksilverx181 is offline  
post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-25-2005, 09:57 AM
F1 Driver
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: DC
Posts: 3,147
Warning Labels

man, I just had to check my calendar...after reading that I thought it was 1999 again.
murph182 is offline  
post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-25-2005, 10:00 AM
F1 Driver
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 22,485
Warning Labels

way to much to read at work, lol

**and you thought that wouldn't get removed?
bookeem is offline  
post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-25-2005, 10:29 AM
F1 Driver
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Iowa
Posts: 12,421
Warning Labels

Those are funny.
mz3szoomzoom is offline  
post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-25-2005, 10:45 AM
F1 Driver
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Cape Cod Ma
Posts: 2,764
Warning Labels

here's a classic one....

Happy Fun Ball
It's Happy! It's Fun! It's Happy Fun Ball!
Yes, Happy Fun Ball, the toy sensation that's sweeping the nation. Only $14.95 at particpating stores!

Get one Today!

Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball.

Caution: Happy Fun Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.

Happy Fun Ball contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.

Do not use Happy Fun Ball on concrete.

Discontinue use of Happy Fun Ball if any of the following occurs:
Itching
Vertigo
Dizziness
Tingling in extremities
Loss of balance or coordination
Slurred speech
Temporary Blindness
Profuse sweating
Heart Palpitations

If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.

Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin.

When not in use, Happy Fun Ball should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration...

Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun Ball, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.

Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

Happy Fun Ball has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.

Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

Happy Fun Ball comes with a lifetime guarantee.

Happy Fun Ball: ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Apocalypse is offline  
post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-25-2005, 11:29 AM
Le Mans: GT Class
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Nor*Cal
Posts: 718
Warning Labels

*Caution: Will cause death if removed* - Honda Civic hybrid

Found this while installing an amp when working at Circuit City. We all got a kick out of it.

[size=10px]RIP 9/5/04 to 3/4/11[/size]
[size=9px][s]2004 Hatch: 5sp - ABS/SAC - Leather - Xenon/TPMS
Mods: Axela badge - Tint 40% front/30% rear - Sirius Satellite radio - Tein S.Tech springs - MS RX-8 shift knob - MS short throw shifter - MS Clutch - Injen Intake - Vibrant exhaust - New/Used engine @ 122,696 miles[/size]
RedXela is offline  
post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 08-06-2009, 05:57 AM
Bicycle Rider
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1
Re: Warning Labels

Thanks for the following warnings.


_________________
Thermostat

Fhilip is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

  FMVperformance.com : The site for all your Ford Mazda and Volvo needs > Misc > Lounge

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the FMVperformance.com : The site for all your Ford Mazda and Volvo needs forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome