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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-02-2005, 09:00 AM Thread Starter
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You know you're from

You Know You're From Houston When...
You're on your way to work one February morning and suddenly you're trapped in a traffic jam caused by a chuck wagon and fifty horses -- with riders -- and you look around to see that everybody in the cars around you is wearing a cowboy hat.

The "farm-to-market" roads have seven lanes.

If you want to be a snob about your grocery shopping, you can go to a Randall's Flagship, a Kroger Signature, a Rice Epicurean, or soon, an HEB Central Market to buy bread and milk (but you have to dress up!)

You have to turn on the air conditioning in January, two days after a low of 29 degrees. just 2 days?!! I say 2 hours

You have a Roach Story: You opened your flatware drawer to find a roach the size of the Taco Bell chihuahua. He stood up and looked you in the eye. You closed the drawer, bought new flatware -- and stored it in the oven. ROFLMAO!! This is so true! No lie

When you see your neighbor dancing around the front yard, you don't think he's won the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes; you know he just stepped in a fire ant bed. fire ants suck

The name "Bud Adams" makes people snarl, and "Bum Phillips" doesn't mean a bad screwdriver.

"Luv ya Blue" still makes you smile, even if you did run the Oilers out of town.

You know that the Astrodome will always be the Eighth Wonder of the World.

You come to work in short-sleeves and walk out at noon to find that a "blue-tailed norther" has blown through, and the temperature has dropped 40 degrees in a matter of minutes. isn't texas lovely?

Your neighbor's Christmas yard decorations look like a re-creation of the gunfight at the OK Corral, complete with a ten-foot tree decorated with boots and cowboy hats, and a Santa Claus who looks a lot like Wyatt Earp.

You wander into a section of town where you can't read the street signs because they're written in Asian characters instead of English, but you don't care because you can get great prices on fake designer merchandise there. lol

You go to an art festival on Westheimer and you're almost run down by two cross-dressers on roller blades, holding hands.

The "Killer Bees" are not stinging insects.

You hear everything but English spoken when you go to the Galleria to window-shop. big mall, internationally known, attracts ALL sorts of visitors

You know that "Dad gummit" has nothing to do with your father's failure to practice good dental hygiene.

You think "Y'all" is perfectly good usage if you're referring to more than one person.

For a Chili Cookoff, you'll use anything from armadillo to frog's legs, but you know that the only GOOD chili is made with chopped -- not ground -- beef, and it has NO beans and NO tomatoes.

Spring is not the season, Katy is not the lady, and 1960 is not the year. Spring is a city, Katy is a city, 1960 is a highway

Society matrons of "a certain age" still sport big hair, and faces that have gone east, west, and north rather than south.

You can leave your house, head out of town, and an hour later you still haven't left the city limits. (During rush hour, you haven't left your neighborhood.) give it two hours, maybe 3, for example, I left my house on my move to Baltimore at 6:45AM and didn't get out of "Houston" probably till around 9

You've never seen I-45 in any condition other than under-construction -- and you've lived here for 20-30 years. yep

If the humidity is below 90 percent, it's a good hair day. no need for anti-frizz cream on those days, all 2 of them

You know that "Clutch City" has nothing to do with automobile transmissions. refers to our Rockets and their ability to seize up at inopportune moments

"The Dream" is not a fantasy.

The only real Mexican food is Tex-Mex.

A 747 with the Space Shuttle riding piggyback has actually flown low, right overhead, and nobody paid any attention to it.

You know that while saving you money, "Mattress Mac" has amassed more than the U.S. Treasury has. Mattress mac owns Gallery Furniture, by far the largest furniture store I've ever seen, includes a bowling alley and free food

You're happy to have beaten Los Angeles out of a football team, but you'd rather that they keep the title of "Smog Capital."

You see nothing unusual about an 80-something former sheriff's deputy who wears a white pompadour toupee and blue sunglasses, mispronounces names, allows televising of his frequent plastic surgeries, seems unnaturally obsessed with slime in the ice machine, and screams, "MAR-VIN ZIND-ler, EYE-witness news" into a television camera every night. I hate Marvin Zindler

You know that the Astrodome will always be the 8th wonder of the world. And they want to tear it down!! Astrodome=sports stadium

Gotta add my own...You know there's only 2 seasons...summer and the few days when we get a cold front-this would be what the rest of the country calls fall

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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-02-2005, 09:01 AM Thread Starter
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You know you're from

You Know You're From Washington DC When...
You say you're from DC, but you actually live in VA or MD but are too tired to explain where.

You don't consider exploding man hole covers to be an unusual occurrence.

You know where the Pentagon really is but never bother to correct anyone about its location.

When it takes you 45 minutes to drive 3 miles on I-66, 95, 395, 495, 50, 123, 29, or 270, it's a pretty good day.

There are at least fifteen ways to get everywhere and you know which way to go based on the weather, time of day, current political climate, terrorism road closures, and whether you are coming or going.

You pay more money in parking tickets in a year than you do in medical bills, college costs and rent combined.

You know that driving through Georgetown, you will hear the music of the car next to you louder than you can hear your own.

"I got stuck behind a motorcade" is a common and real excuse for being late.

"Finding a parking space" actually becomes an appointment on your calendar. (E.g.. 7:00-8:00 Gym, 8:30-9:00PM - find a parking space, 9:00-10:30PM - Dinner reservations.)

You've never once been to Wal-Mart and don't even know if there is one.

When you say you're going to the mall and you don't mean shopping.

You never refer to the 'Metro' as the 'subway'.

You elbow tourists out of the way on the Metro escalators to "gently" emind them to WALK LEFT, STAND RIGHT.

Going to work early means being there by 9:00AM.

You don't bat an eye at 500 politicians and businessmen in suits running like their lives depended on it just to catch a Metro that will be followed by another in 90 seconds.

You call it Targét, not Target, and are well aware that the one in Alexandria is just a "tad different".

When Washington National Airport is and will always be "WASHINGTON NATIONAL", not "Reagan National".

You can tell by people's cars where they live and maybe even what neighborhood.

You've claimed that there's nothing to do on a weekend night even when you have the entire nation's capitol to explore.

You have the Metro map memorized, yet act like you don't know when someone asks you how to get to Metro Center.

You meet someone else who says they're from the DC area and you realize they live two hours away from you.

You notice that there's been construction on the same stretch of highway for the past 5 years and you've never see anyone working on it.

You know you've crossed into Northern Virginia, without ever seeing a sign, only because your speedometer goes from 60 to 0.

You know that Vietnam is no longer in the South Pacific, it's now been re-located to Seven Corners.

The few times you have gotten lost in DC you have somehow ALWAYS ended up in Anacostia and every road out somehow leads back to Anacostia.

You realize that I-395 is Northern Virginia's version of NASCAR.

There is no such thing as North, South, East, or West on the beltway, it's just go "that" way!(Inner circle / outer circle)

You go anywhere on the Eastern Shore, Rehoboth, Dewey, Ocean City, Skyline Drive, or the Outer Banks for vacation and everyone you meet is from DC

Snow means rain to you

Ice on the roads just means that you pay more attention to other cars, but still go 75 mph on the highways

You can see the national cathedral from almost anywhere

You know at least 2 rowers

You know that Georgetown is NOT only a school

You consider Northern VA to be in no way similar to southern VA

You know which bridges to cross to get to Maryland or VA

You actually know goes on in Dupont circle

You can't go to Tysons Mall without seeing someone you know!!

You have a few friends who don't know what their parents do...It's Top Secret government work.

People don't ask you if Chevy Chase is named after the actor.

You can harmonize perfectly with the alert for "Doors Closing" on the Metro

50% of your senior class went to Mason, JMU, Tech, VCU or UVA

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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-02-2005, 09:02 AM Thread Starter
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You know you're from

You Know You're From Atlanta When...
You give directions starting with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House."

You only know their way to work and their way home.

You only drink Coke or Diet Coke - drinking Pepsi is blasphemy.

You know to wear sneakers to the airport.

The 8:00 AM rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 AM. The 5:00 PM rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:30 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon, and lasts through 2:00 AM Saturday.

You use "Sir" and "Ma'am" if there's a remote possibility that person you're talking to is least 30 minutes older than you are.

You can Ponce De Leon Avenue correctly.

The falling of one rain drop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules.

If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days, and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a month. All the grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer.

If there is a remote chance of snow, and if it does snow, people will be on the corner selling "I survived the blizzard" tee-shirts, not to mention the fact that all schools will close at the slightest possible chance of snow.

If you are standing on a corner and a MARTA Bus stops, you're expected to get on and go somewhere.

Construction on Peachtree Street is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment, especially when a water line is tapped and Atlanta's version of Old Faithful erupts.

Construction crews are not doing their jobs properly unless they close down all major streets during rush hour.

You never go 55 on "The Watermelon 500 or the Georgia 400.

You know you're not allergic to pollen, because if you were - you'd be dead already.

You've never gone around the block and ended up on the street you started on.

You know where 'Butthead' and 'F*ckhead' are, and it's the same part of town.

ou haven't been downtown at night in years

You've woken up at 4:30 am on workdays to beat the traffic to work, intending to leave work before 3 pm to compensate.

You know at least five different ways to get to work, none of them ideal

You know what "sunshine slowdown", "auto-flambe'", "topside" mean, and what color a H.E.R.O. is.

You know where PIB, JCB, FIB, MLK, PDK and "Grady curve" are, and you try to never go there during any of the nine hours of rush "hour"

You've thought about getting a blow-up companion for the front passenger seat

You hope you are the one to spot the vehicle that is the subject of the latest "Amber Alert" which has been flashing for ten minutes on the DOT message board exactly 13.5 feet above the hood of your SUV

You've been in traffic on 85, 75, 20 or 400 (choose one) - wondering if your fuel, your cell-phone battery and your bladder will make it to the next exit, just 1/2 mile ahead

It's 4:30 pm Sunday, you're stone-cold sober and you've just finished the last left-over hot dog when you realize that in exactly 12 hours you have to get up and go to work - again

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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-02-2005, 09:55 AM
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You know you're from

^^^Damn girl, you must have been bored this morning!


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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-02-2005, 10:21 AM
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are you tripping on acid again?

"Gilrs only want boyfriends who have great skills."

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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-02-2005, 10:23 AM Thread Starter
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You know you're from

I wasn't bored this morning at all. I found those pretty funny. I've been to DC, Atlanta, and lived in Houston. It was a copy and paste situation .

And I've never "tripped" on anything btw

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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-02-2005, 10:29 AM
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You know you're from

I'll add a few I've heard...

You live in California when....
1) You make over $250,000 a year and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2) The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
3) The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
4) You know how to eat an artichoke.
5) You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
6) someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

You live in New York City when....
1) You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2) You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.
3) You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
4) You think Central Park is "nature"
5) You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
6) You've worn out a car horn.
7) You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You Live in Maine when....
1) You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
2) Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3) You have more than one recipe for moose.
4) Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5) The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You Live in the Deep South when....
1) You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2) "ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.
3) After five years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are Ya?"
4) "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.
5) Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, etc.

You live in Colorado when....
1) You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2) You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
3) A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4) The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You live in the Midwest when...
1) You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2) Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3) You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4) You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5) When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"

You live in Florida when....
1) You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2) All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3) Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4) Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5) Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.

Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway.
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-02-2005, 10:36 AM
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You know you're from

You live in the Midwest when...
1) You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2) Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3) You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4) You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5) When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"


Only one of those is true i my books
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-02-2005, 10:40 AM
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You know you're from

Most of the items I posted are just silly. My personal favorite is Deep South #4... "He needed killin'" is a valid defense.

Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway.
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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-02-2005, 11:24 AM
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Quote:
You can harmonize perfectly with the alert for "Doors Closing" on the Metro
If you dont concentrate on the alert it sounds like "George Clooney"!

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