Wife 1.0 - FMVperformance.com : The site for all your Ford Mazda and Volvo needs
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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-14-2005, 11:32 AM Thread Starter
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Wife 1.0

Apologies if this a repost, I did search

Wife 1.0
A software engineer wrote:

Subject: Failed Upgrade
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the
new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space
and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the
product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches
during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.
Applications such as Smoking 10.3, Boozing 2.5 and Saturday Night Pubs 5.0
no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot keep Wife 1.0
in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite
applications like Night Club 4.3, Dance 'n' Drink 2.0 and Bachelor Party
7.77.

I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not
work on this program. Once I tried to uninstall Wife 1.0 but got this error:
"General Protection Fault in module House Security. The Uninstallation will
abort." Can you help me, please?

Here was the reply from Tech Support:

Re: Failed Upgrade
This is a very common problem among men, but it is due mostly to a primary
misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the
idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0
is actually an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run
everything.

It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to
Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge Wife 1.0
from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because
Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend
8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look
in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support;" this was given to you
at time of registration with Wife 1.0. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and
just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also
suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults
(GPFs).

The best course of action will be to enter the command C:APOLOGIZE. In fact
I would suggest you use this command every time Wife 1.0 crashes on your
system. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance.

Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0.
I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0 or Movies 4.5.

Do not, under any circumstances, install Visual Secretary With Short Skirt
3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause
irreversible damage to the operating system.

Recent surveys show add-ons like Visual Dress 2.0, Diamond Necklace 3.0, and
A Quick Tour To Temple 1.0 are the best Third Party tools supported by Wife
1.0 to allow it to run smoothly and effectively.
Best of luck!

Kev

'07 Crystal White Pearl MS3 - Corksport Downpipe & CBE, Corksport FMIC & airbox, HKS SSQV - recirculated, Cusco Coilovers, Cobb Sways, 17x9 Enkei RP1's on 245/40/17's, Rays blue duraluminum lugs, TWM SSK, shifter bushings & Type R shift knob, Corksport insert, 3000K HID fogs, DDE's, smoked LED reflectors, Prosport boost gauge, Passport X50 Blue, dual Recaro DC5's,


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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-14-2005, 12:51 PM
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Wife 1.0

True

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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-14-2005, 01:08 PM
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Wife 1.0

wow im about to make this upgrade really soon. good thing i didnt have any of those programs not supported

Arizona Mazda owners should check out these sites

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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-14-2005, 02:06 PM
dbK
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Wife 1.0

Heh, I remember seeing this a while ago.. still funny

Enjoy your spahgetti, you're very rude.


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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-14-2005, 02:18 PM
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Wife 1.0

$ man wife
No manual entry for wife

2004 Mazda 3s 5-door:
* - Velocity Red 5-speed: Leather - HID + TPMS - ABS Package - Moonroof + 6 CD

Mods:
* 3.5" Stubby Ant. - Mazda6 Dual-Tone Horn - K&N Panel Filter - TWM SS w/Bend - 215/50/17 Hankook Ventus HRII - Shaved Door Mouldings
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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-14-2005, 02:18 PM
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Wife 1.0

^^^ For the UNIX guys on the board...

2004 Mazda 3s 5-door:
* - Velocity Red 5-speed: Leather - HID + TPMS - ABS Package - Moonroof + 6 CD

Mods:
* 3.5" Stubby Ant. - Mazda6 Dual-Tone Horn - K&N Panel Filter - TWM SS w/Bend - 215/50/17 Hankook Ventus HRII - Shaved Door Mouldings
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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-14-2005, 02:28 PM
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Wife 1.0

Here's another.. how to have sex the "Unix way":

$ unzip ; strip ; touch ; finger ; mount ; fsck ; more ; yes ; umount ; sleep


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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-14-2005, 03:18 PM
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Wife 1.0

Where's Divorce-ware 2.0 or Spyware-bitch-remover 3.1 when you need it 8) .


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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-14-2005, 03:40 PM
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I love that joke. So true.
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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-14-2005, 10:04 PM
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Wife 1.0

Quote:
Originally Posted by "3AndMe"
Here's another.. how to have sex the "Unix way":

$ unzip ; strip ; touch ; finger ; mount ; fsck ; more ; yes ; umount ; sleep

HAHAHAHA SWEET!

Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway.
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