Good Advice - FMVperformance.com : The site for all your Ford Mazda and Volvo needs
 
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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 06-18-2004, 05:33 PM Thread Starter
F1 Driver
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: New Haven, CT
Posts: 14,337
Good Advice

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.
Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat
and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly
removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while
you chop away.

3. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself
and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in
your veins.

4. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,
will prevent you from rolling over and going back to
sleep when you hit the snooze button.

5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

6. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a
hammer, then you will forget about the tooth ache.

AND..... Sometimes we just need to remember what the
Rules of Life really are:

You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it
doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and
shouldn't, use the duct tape.

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have
another chance!

And finally... Be really good to your family and
friends. You never know when you are going to need
them to empty your bedpan.
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 06-18-2004, 05:39 PM
Grand Am Series
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: TorontoMazda3.com
Posts: 367
Re: Good Advice

Quote:
Originally Posted by "MZ6ZoomZoom"

5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
ROTFLMAO... I should buy some ex-lax powder and pour it into a coworker's morning drink. Her cough is SOOOO bad and she's had it for like three months! hahaha j/k

Reminds me of sh*tbrick (American Pie).


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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 06-18-2004, 05:48 PM
Moped Rider
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: SoCal
Posts: 24
Good Advice

Outstanding!!!

Joe
-----------------------------
Titanium Gray * 2.3L 4Door * Auto * ABS * Leather * Sport Package
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 06-18-2004, 06:00 PM
F1 Driver
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 4,849
Good Advice

Nice!!!
dinu01 is offline  
post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 06-18-2004, 07:11 PM
Short Track Racer
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Kansas
Posts: 139
Good Advice

LOL....

but ther thing with the hammer is all wrong. whenever a body part hurts you are suppose to cut it off. That way it wont hurt any more.

2000 S-10...6 months of ownership
Stats:
4 cyl.
120 hp
1 deer killed
WARNING: Animals were hurt in the driving of this pickup.
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 06-19-2004, 08:05 PM
civiclad
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Good Advice

Wow, this is wonderful! Thanks for all those helpful tips.
post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 06-19-2004, 09:56 PM
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Good Advice

Only You bro!!! Nice!

Banned
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 06-20-2004, 08:49 AM
Grand Am Series
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Bay Area, California
Posts: 412
Good Advice

Quote:
Originally Posted by "Bogie"
LOL....

but ther thing with the hammer is all wrong. whenever a body part hurts you are suppose to cut it off. That way it wont hurt any more.
So if there is a slight pain on my wee-wee, then I should just.....WAAAAAAAAAHHHHH??!!

"I am so roundhouse!"
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