1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.
Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat
and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while
you chop away.
3. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself
and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in
4. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,
will prevent you from rolling over and going back to
sleep when you hit the snooze button.
5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
6. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a
hammer, then you will forget about the tooth ache.
AND..... Sometimes we just need to remember what the
Rules of Life really are:
You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it
doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and
shouldn't, use the duct tape.
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have
And finally... Be really good to your family and
friends. You never know when you are going to need
them to empty your bedpan.