Snappy Come Backs
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket,
and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat
she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store,
she asked a stock boy, Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock
boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day", the cop
said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could".
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
without a ticket.
A pompous minister was seated next to a Texan on a flight to Dallas.
After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Texan asked
for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink.
He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by brazen
whores than let liquor touch my lips."
The Texan looked at the minister, then handed his drink back to
the attendant and said, "I didn't know we had a choice."
:smokin: **searching is the new cool.** :smokin: