Hope it makes it. Post your's here. - FMVperformance.com : The site for all your Ford Mazda and Volvo needs
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-30-2004, 02:34 AM Thread Starter
Grand Am Series
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Bay Area, California
Posts: 412
Hope it makes it. Post your's here.

I submitted this joke to Maxim magazine recently. I hope it makes the cut, mwahahahaahaha! I will be famous!!! Here it is:



A guy walks into a bar and can't help but notice a banner that says, "Win $5,000! You just have to accomplish 3 tasks!"

The guy orders a beer and asks the bartender, "So what are these 3 tasks?"

The bartender says, "Well, the 1st thing you got to do is... you see that big guy over there?" The bartender points at a huge hulk of a monster at the end of the bar. "You have to beat him in a fight!"

The frightened guy says, "There's no way in hell I could beat that gurilla!" So he sat down and quietly finishes his beer. He orders another beer and out of curiosity asks the bartender, "So what's the 2nd task I have to do?"

The bartender replies, "Well, there's a 70 year old lady that lives in the 2nd floor of this building and she hasn't had any sex in 20 years. What you gotta do is go up there and give here the time of her life."

The guy says, "No way! That's sick, man! Forget it!" So he sits quietly and drinks a couple more beers. Out of curiosity, he asks the bartender, "Okay, so what's the last task that I have to do to win the money?"

The bartender replies, "You see that big cage by the dance floor? There's a tiger in it with a sore tooth. You'll need to go in that cage and pull the sore tooth out."

The guy says, "Now you're talkin' crazy! That's suicide!" So the guy sits quietly and drinks a couple more beers. All of a sudden he stands up, throws down his beer on the floor, runs over to the big gurilla guy and BAM... knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy jumps into the tiger cage. After a few minutes of the tiger growling and whining, the guy jumps out of the cage and yells, "Alright... where's the old bitch with the sore tooth!!"




Bahahahahahahaa!

"I am so roundhouse!"
carlomagneto is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-30-2004, 08:03 AM
F1 Driver
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: BCMazda3.com
Posts: 6,290
Send a message via AIM to Absinthe Send a message via MSN to Absinthe
Hope it makes it. Post your's here.

LMAO!!! That would be a nasty sight

[size=10px] | 5-SPEED MAZDA3 SPORT GT - WINNING BLUE |


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
|*
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
|
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
|
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

[/size]
Absinthe is offline  
post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-30-2004, 08:35 AM
atl
F1 Driver
 
atl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Joint Base Lewis McChord,WA
Posts: 4,686
Send a message via AIM to atl Send a message via Yahoo to atl
Hope it makes it. Post your's here.

Nice one.
atl is offline  
post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-30-2004, 12:02 PM
Le Mans: Prototype Class
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Alexandria, VA
Posts: 1,003
Hope it makes it. Post your's here.

Nice Joke, AWESOME AVATAR TOO

2.3L Titanium 3s Sedan | Manual | Moonroof | ABS | Sport | Goodyear Eagle F1 All Seasons | H7 Osram SilverStars | HB3 Philips Premiums | H11 Hoen All-Weathers | Powered by Mobil1 0W-20
rpc180 is offline  
post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-30-2004, 01:57 PM
Le Mans: Prototype Class
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: OXNARD CALIFORNIA! home of the strawberries!
Posts: 1,089
Send a message via AIM to funkyfreshmonke
Hope it makes it. Post your's here.

thats a lil long aint it? lol...most of the jokes i read are real short

zoomin...funkyfresh style...
Mazda3S Sedan / Velocity Red / ABS,SAB,SAC / Xenon HID, TPMS / Navigation
funkyfreshmonke is offline  
post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-30-2004, 04:08 PM
F1 Driver
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Edmonton, Alberta
Posts: 16,466
Send a message via AIM to budgy Send a message via MSN to budgy
Hope it makes it. Post your's here.

That was classy!

Dead Thread Revive Cr3w

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Quote:
Originally Posted by John_in_the_LBC
fucking pringle bastards.
budgy is offline  
post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 06-01-2004, 01:34 PM Thread Starter
Grand Am Series
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Bay Area, California
Posts: 412
Hope it makes it. Post your's here.

Thank's guys. Those Maxim folks would be crazy to pass this gem up.

"I am so roundhouse!"
carlomagneto is offline  
post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 06-01-2004, 02:18 PM
Grand Am Series
 
goldwing2000's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Chandler, TX
Posts: 319
Hope it makes it. Post your's here.

Unfortunately, that joke is older than the hills. I'm sure the Maxim guys have already seen it dozens of times. Don't hold your breath on getting it printed.

Not trying to bust your balls, just being realistic.

~Kane
goldwing2000 is offline  
post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 06-01-2004, 11:04 PM
Le Mans: GT Class
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Rockville, MD
Posts: 603
Hope it makes it. Post your's here.

One of my history teachers in high school told us that joke, but it was an pitbull instead of a tiger.
wt12435 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

  FMVperformance.com : The site for all your Ford Mazda and Volvo needs > Misc > Lounge

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the FMVperformance.com : The site for all your Ford Mazda and Volvo needs forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome