Grand Am Series
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Bay Area, California
Hope it makes it. Post your's here.
I submitted this joke to Maxim magazine recently. I hope it makes the cut, mwahahahaahaha! I will be famous!!! Here it is:
A guy walks into a bar and can't help but notice a banner that says, "Win $5,000! You just have to accomplish 3 tasks!"
The guy orders a beer and asks the bartender, "So what are these 3 tasks?"
The bartender says, "Well, the 1st thing you got to do is... you see that big guy over there?" The bartender points at a huge hulk of a monster at the end of the bar. "You have to beat him in a fight!"
The frightened guy says, "There's no way in hell I could beat that gurilla!" So he sat down and quietly finishes his beer. He orders another beer and out of curiosity asks the bartender, "So what's the 2nd task I have to do?"
The bartender replies, "Well, there's a 70 year old lady that lives in the 2nd floor of this building and she hasn't had any sex in 20 years. What you gotta do is go up there and give here the time of her life."
The guy says, "No way! That's sick, man! Forget it!" So he sits quietly and drinks a couple more beers. Out of curiosity, he asks the bartender, "Okay, so what's the last task that I have to do to win the money?"
The bartender replies, "You see that big cage by the dance floor? There's a tiger in it with a sore tooth. You'll need to go in that cage and pull the sore tooth out."
The guy says, "Now you're talkin' crazy! That's suicide!" So the guy sits quietly and drinks a couple more beers. All of a sudden he stands up, throws down his beer on the floor, runs over to the big gurilla guy and BAM... knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy jumps into the tiger cage. After a few minutes of the tiger growling and whining, the guy jumps out of the cage and yells, "Alright... where's the old bitch with the sore tooth!!"
"I am so roundhouse!"