Got Any Funny Jokes!!? - FMVperformance.com : The site for all your Ford Mazda and Volvo needs
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post #1 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-26-2004, 11:25 PM Thread Starter
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Got Any Funny Jokes!!?

i was just reading the maxim magazine...and i thought this joke was pretty funny

"Why is Easter an Alzheimer's patient's favorite holiday?"

He can hide his own eggs.


2004 Mazda s3, LavA Orange, Loaded!!!!!!! :smokin:


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post #2 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-27-2004, 11:21 AM Thread Starter
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Got Any Funny Jokes!!?

A man goes for a prostate exam. The proctologist is checking him out when he discovers a roll of hundreds in the guy’s colon. He pulls it out and counts the money.

“You’re not going to believe this,” says the doctor. “But I’ve just found $1,900 inside your rectum.”

“Hmm,” says the patient. “Well, I guess that explains why I haven’t been feeling too grand.”


2004 Mazda S3, [color=orangeLAvA ORange][/color], LoaDEd!! :smokin:


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post #3 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-27-2004, 11:22 AM Thread Starter
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Got Any Funny Jokes!!?

Returning home from work, a blonde is shocked to find her house burglarized. She telephones the police, and a nearby K-9 unit is the first to respond. As the officer and dog approach the house, the woman storms out onto the porch and shouts, “I get robbed, I call the police for help, and they send me a blind cop?”


2004 MAzdA S3, LAvA Orange, LoAdED!!! :smokin:


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post #4 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-27-2004, 11:23 AM Thread Starter
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Got Any Funny Jokes!!?

A man walks into a bar. He sees a beautiful, well-dressed woman sitting on a bar stool alone. He walks up to her and says, “Hi there, how’s it going tonight?”

She turns to him, looks him straight in the eyes and says, “I’ll screw anybody any time, anywhere, any place… it doesn’t matter to me.”

The guy raises his eyebrows and says, “No kidding? What law firm do you work for?”


2004 Mazda s3, LAva ORange, LoAdeD!!! :smokin:


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post #5 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-27-2004, 05:42 PM
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Got Any Funny Jokes!!?

Why are there over 3 million abused women in the world today?

Because they just won't listen!

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post #6 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-27-2004, 09:11 PM
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Got Any Funny Jokes!!?

A 95 year old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, with his wife tagging along.

When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, "I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample."

The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells, "What did he say?"

His wife yells back, "Give the doctor your underwear."


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post #7 of 42 (permalink) Old 04-08-2004, 11:01 PM
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Got Any Funny Jokes!!?

An Irishman is walking home one cold night with a pint of his favorite liquor in his pocket. He falls, feels something warm running down his leg and says "Please Lord, please let it be blood."

Any connection between my reality and yours is purely coincidental.

HB, AT, Strato, 20% tint, Silverstars, loose nut behind wheel.
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post #8 of 42 (permalink) Old 04-08-2004, 11:13 PM
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Got Any Funny Jokes!!?

I read the other day that 55% of surveyed women have been battered.

To think I've been eating them raw all these years.

2004 silver Mazda3 i
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post #9 of 42 (permalink) Old 04-09-2004, 02:56 AM
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Got Any Funny Jokes!!?

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?



Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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post #10 of 42 (permalink) Old 04-09-2004, 04:05 AM
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Got Any Funny Jokes!!?

lol wtf
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