You might be a ricer if... - FMVperformance.com : The site for all your Ford Mazda and Volvo needs
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post #1 of 61 (permalink) Old 01-16-2004, 04:22 PM Thread Starter
Le Mans: GT Class
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 581
You might be a ricer if...

Here is a post I had up in the "Other Cars" section. I've edited and posted it here for your entertainment.
===========================
My definition of "rice" doesn't have to do with the brand name or origin of the car. I've seen American cars (Neons, Focuses, even Mustangs) "riced" out which turns out to be something really scary.

"Rice," to me, is anyone who over does it when it comes to modifiying their car. They do it simply for the desire to make their car look cool, look or be fast, unique, etc. The sad thing is, all "riced" cars eventually begin to look the same...

:shock:

For example, Honda is an unfortunate victim of a fashion trend by too many owners who have no fashion sense. Don't be hatin' Honda just because some kid decides that an unpainted 6 ft spoiler would look great on the back end of their car (even though they generally don't).

If the mods are tastefully done, which is subjective to everyone's opinion, then the car isn't "rice."

But...

Here are a few of my humble opinions of what makes a car "rice":

1. Any body part of the car that is either too big or too small to match proportionally with the rest of the car. That means things like huge spoilers (the kind that basketball players can limbo under) to 20" wheels on a small compact car. On the opposite end of the spectrum, there are those dinky little 14" wheels that we sometimes see on low-riding vehicles. I wish I could tell those owners to get some decent suspension and they wouldn't have to worry about those dang pebbles on the road and having other people wondering if their car is running on 4 flat tires.

2. Any loud colors, aftermarket excessive lighting, or too much "bling-bling". These cars just scream "NOTICE ME!!" when they pass by. If the car's color reminds people of fruit flavored sherbert or easter eggs, it might be rice. If the car has neons or other extra lighting that it can guide an airplane to land down on the road, the car might be rice. If the car has so much chrome that light reflecting off it causes road accidents and all sorts of manner of creatures to go blind by just looking at it, it might be rice.

3. Any loud, obnoxious, engine/exhaust noise that reminds people of lawn mowers and mopeds. Sorry, but I can't stand for coffee can exhaust nor farty pipes that make the car sound like it can't breathe right. It also tends to annoy the hell out of the car alarms in underground garages. Young people should learn to like their hearing because they are going to miss it when it's gone.

4. Stickers. No, not the "My kid beat up your honor student" kind of stickers, but product brand name stickers. We don't need to know if the car has AEM, Neuspeed, BBS, etc. components in the car (or lack there of). We definitely don't need to know that the Civic is "Powered by Honda!" by putting a big sticker on there. It's like "Well, duh! Of course it's powered by Honda! It's a Civic!" And if the car says it's something else, (aka "Lying&quot like a Dodge Neon trying pass as a Eclipse, well, that's just plain stupid.

5. Interior garishness. I swear that some riced cars can hold their own disco-techs inside the vehicle. LEDs abound with neons, overpowered speakers with puppy-like sub-woofers, gauges everywhere to tell temp, time, and when your girlfriend is going to have her next orgasm. With all the money that the owner spends on the car, no wonder they have their DVD entertainment system packed in there, along with everything else. They don't have any other place to live except their car!

Anyway, those are just most of my subjective opinions on what makes a car "rice". I hope I didn't offend anyone and I'll apologize ahead if I did offend someone.
===========================

Does anybody else have any good "You might be a ricer if..."?

Keep it clean and keep it fun

~Titanium Dragon
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post #2 of 61 (permalink) Old 01-16-2004, 06:04 PM
Le Mans: GT Class
 
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Location: NorCal
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You might be a ricer if...

... your car is painted to the effect that the color changes from green to gold to red from different lights/angles.

... you can't drive over speed bumps without taking them "at an angle"


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post #3 of 61 (permalink) Old 01-16-2004, 07:07 PM
F1 Driver
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Toronto, ON
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You might be a ricer if...

Nice thread! Ok people, let's get some posts here.

If you have yellow on your car and it's not the car's colour.
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post #4 of 61 (permalink) Old 01-16-2004, 07:48 PM
Le Mans: Prototype Class
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Posts: 2,344
You might be a ricer if...

oh sure... move it on me..

it you have wings that could take on a small airplane, you might be rice...

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post #5 of 61 (permalink) Old 01-16-2004, 08:24 PM
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You might be a ricer if...

My personal opinion of what makes a car rice is if it's all show and no talk, if you're trying to make your car look faster than it is, that's a ricer.

And personally if you have an alluminum wing...regaurdless of it's size...that's frickin' rice

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post #6 of 61 (permalink) Old 01-16-2004, 09:51 PM
Short Track Racer
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Shelby Township, MI
Posts: 239
You might be a ricer if...

lowered by heating the springs, spray painting your own graphics on the side of your car.
Massive rice cooker fart can exhaust that is all sound and no performance
Fake Dual exhaust tip
All of the above and still riding on stock 14's

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post #7 of 61 (permalink) Old 01-16-2004, 09:52 PM
Short Track Racer
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Shelby Township, MI
Posts: 239
You might be a ricer if...

oh, and if you love the jc whitney catalog or buy anything for your car out of super street magazine, you are a big rice boy/girl.

2004 IBM M6 GTO
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post #8 of 61 (permalink) Old 01-16-2004, 09:53 PM
Short Track Racer
 
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Location: Shelby Township, MI
Posts: 239
You might be a ricer if...

kung fu ninja front bumper styling.

2004 IBM M6 GTO
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post #9 of 61 (permalink) Old 01-16-2004, 09:54 PM
F1 Driver
 
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You might be a ricer if...

if you have those chrome wheels that move even when the car is stationary, then you are rice ( or ghetto)

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post #10 of 61 (permalink) Old 01-16-2004, 09:55 PM
Short Track Racer
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Shelby Township, MI
Posts: 239
You might be a ricer if...

... resisting the urge to keep going. I must be kind, I must be kind, I must be kind. Ah ... screw it. If you put those dang flashing lightbulbs in your turn signals, you are asking to have the rice your eating biatch slapped out of your mouth.

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