Give me your opinion girls...I think my mom just needs to let go! - FMVperformance.com : The site for all your Ford Mazda and Volvo needs
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post #1 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-12-2007, 12:35 PM Thread Starter
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Give me your opinion girls...I think my mom just needs to let go!

Hey girls! I want to share an email with you that my mom wrote me. But let me give you some background first. I was brought up in a strict Christian home and went to a private Christian school (where my mom taught). For example, I wasn't allowed to go to PG-13 movies til i was like 18, and even then I had to tell her why it was rated PG-13, etc. When I went to birthday parties I wasn't allowed to go if there was dancing, and if i did happen to go to a birthday party with dancing, i was forbidden to dance, and if i did (which i usually did) I got punished (grounded or whatever). Also, I wasn't allowed to ride in a car with a boy by myself til I was like 18, and I wasn't allowed to date til I was 16 (which is fine, whatever). There are other things, but I won't bore you with the details.

Anyway, in May, I moved out of my parent's house and into an apartment with my fiance, Steve. My parents really haven't accepted him since we started dating, for reasons that are not even relevant. So needless to say, they are absolutely furious that we are living together when we aren't married.

Anyway, I give them a check every month for $200 to pay for my car and health insurance. And this is the email that I got after I sent the last check....

Dear Joanna,
We did receive your insurance check today. It really grieves us to see both of your names on the check, as if you were living a respectful and moral life. Please do not give us any more checks like that. Just like when you said, "We got a new bed!" all happy and proud. That was such a slap in our faces and especially in God's face. We may not have been good parents to you, but your Heavenly Father has never treated you badly, and He does NOT deserve to be treated this way. You are so casual and flippant about your sin. How can you sleep at night, knowing you are committing fornication and everything about your life is shameful?
Please make other plans for insurance, beginning in September. If you should repent of your sins and get right with God before then, of course then we will keep you on the plan. I pray daily for you to see what you are doing with your life and turn to God. He will forgive everything and we will, too. We love you so much.
Love,
Mom


Please give me your opinions on this girls. Have any of you ever experienced anything like this? (I know Tiffany has already given me her advice, but since this is a Ladies Lounge and we like girl talk, I thought I'd ask you girls what you thought).

Oh and btw, I am very happy with Steve, and I am not doing anything out of the ordinary with my life. I go to work, come home after work, play with our kitties, watch tv and go to bed. I don't go out partying or do drugs or anything like that!.....lol....just thought I'd let you guys know! :-)

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post #2 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-12-2007, 12:48 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Give me your opinion girls...I think my mom just needs to let go!

Sorry for the long post ladies! It's like a freakin book! lol

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post #3 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-12-2007, 12:53 PM
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Re: Give me your opinion girls...I think my mom just needs to let go!

Wow, that is so harsh for your own mother to judge you that way!! I did not really grow up in a religious home, so the concept of organized religion and all of the "rules" of what is acceptable and considered Christian and what is not is completely foreign to me. I don't see what is so sinful about your life to have your mother accuse you of being disrespectful and immoral. Your mom definitely needs to realize that while you were raised the way they wanted to raise you, you're a WOMAN now and you can choose to lead your life the way you want. There are so many different definitions of being Christian but your mom seems hardcore!

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post #4 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-12-2007, 01:01 PM
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Re: Give me your opinion girls...I think my mom just needs to let go!

I definitely think she needs to let go and BE HAPPY FOR YOU. It is sad to see religion get in the way of family bonds.


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post #5 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-12-2007, 01:12 PM
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Re: Give me your opinion girls...I think my mom just needs to let go!

thats a tough one joanna, but the background info you gave helps and i guess the best way to think about this is from your parents perspective and from their religious principle. i forget whether the bible discourages cohabitation among none married couples--but in any case--

without knowing the whole story its hard to really give u advice but the little you've talked about your relationship with steve is sounds like things moved quickly (even though you guys have known each other for a long time) i'm sure it was even quicker for your parents--have you ever sat down with them and talked about your relationship and talked about why you and your fiancee made the decisions that you made togther? maybe if you haven't thats something to consider--i'd hate to see the two of you get married and this tension exist in your family because the two of you made decisions and your parents didn't approve. i know i personally hate doing things without getting some approval from my parents even though they tell me they can't make decisions for me they are always willing to talk, maybe thats something you outta try with your parents, just sit down and talk to him. talk to your parents and involve them in your life--i know that sounds lame and not very adult like but our parents are the reason we are around so at least in my mind we need to give them credit for something.

the important thing is your parents love you--my best advice is to talk to them--listen to each other--be open with each other--let them say what they need to say and make sure you have a chance to say what you want to say--
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post #6 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-12-2007, 01:23 PM
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Re: Give me your opinion girls...I think my mom just needs to let go!

This is EXACTLY why I HATE religion. Tell your mom you had a deep conversation with God, and he said he changed the rules about 3 years ago. It's now ok to live with anyone you want at any time in your life. He's just been keeping it from the older members of his cult because he knew they wouldn't be able to handle it.
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post #7 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-12-2007, 01:35 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Give me your opinion girls...I think my mom just needs to let go!

Ok lets just get one thing straight. I did not post this thread so that people would bash God and Christianity. I am a Christian, but I just see things differently than my mother. She is more fundamental than I am, and has way more convictions than I do.

It really hurts me when people say that they HATE my God. If you don't understand Christianity, that is fine, but please don't degrade his name on this thread. You can do so else where.

On another note, Steven and I have tried talking to my parents several times, but they just can't find anything positive to say, so trying to talk to them about this is out of the question unfortunately. They will never see our side of things.

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post #8 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-12-2007, 01:38 PM
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Re: Give me your opinion girls...I think my mom just needs to let go!

have u considered talking to them without your fiancee?

i can understand why you'd want him but i think if you just talk to your parents without steven it might yeild better results. i mean your mom directed that email to you, not the two of you...i understand why you want him there but maybe try and talk to your parents just you and them--
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post #9 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-12-2007, 01:45 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Give me your opinion girls...I think my mom just needs to let go!

Yah I've talked to my mom before by myself, and she just tells me that my life is a train wreck and starts crying and stuff. I mean, it's not like I'm out doing drugs or being a stripper or something. I have a normal life, I just happen to live with my fiance, whom I am so in love with. Oh well. I think the only way that my parents will be happy is if i run back to them and do everything they tell me to do....which isn't going to happen.

But i just thought I'd share my situation with you girls. Thanks for the support ladies!

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post #10 of 32 (permalink) Old 07-12-2007, 03:47 PM
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Re: Give me your opinion girls...I think my mom just needs to let go!

You know my opinion on this girl. I think it is wrong that your mom is getting on your case like this. She needs to let you go. You have your own family now. Steve, you, and your baby kitties. You don't need her to be treating you this way. I say focus on you and Steve and you will be fine.

Tiffany Geotsalitis

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