I got this off of someones myspace blog
So one of my friends posted this list of Rules Men made up. Well, as a woman, I shall update them on OUR rules.
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story.(I must admit, it's pretty good.)We always hear " the rules"From the female side.Now here are the rules from the male side.These are our rules!Please note.. these are all numbered "1"ON PURPOSE!(And my replies to these rules ^_^)
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
- Women ARE not your Shrink nor your Mother. We love you but we will not let you drip snot on us.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.We need it up, you need it down.You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
- Toilet seats have germs. We women are clean people and really organized and detail-oriented. The bathroom has an image to maintain. so If it's down before you go in there, return it to the state it was in BEFORE you went in.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moonor the changing of the tides.Let it be.
- That may be and we will gladly join in watching, but Monday Night Football, Games on Thanksgiving day, Thursday's are CSI night, Nip/Tuck and The Shield are also imporant shows, like The Sopranos, that WILL be watched. If you have a problem, SEE OTHER TV.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
- Nor is sitting in a sports bar WATCHING nascar, Football, Baseball, etc. Go PLAY the sport. Watching something isn't playing it.
1. Crying is blackmail.
- Saying you are tired is an over used excuse.
1. Ask for what you want.Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!Strong hints do not work!Obvious hints do not work!Just say it!
- We women like to be surprised and pampered sometimes. We are Princesses and we should be able to drop hints when we'd like our man to get us something. Unlike you, we dont wait until the hole in our underwear has gained a few friends before buying a new pair, we take note of what you need or like and get it for you at random as an expression of our care or love for you.
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
- Yes, this is true, but No, some questions need to be talked about. We are perfectionists and need things to be a certain way or we feel unconfortable. If you love us, you would say okay.
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
- Sometimes, we girls want some lovign and compassion from our guy because sometimes they bring us more comfort and security in a situation than our girlfriends can. Besides, our girlfriend's most common responses will be: Leave him. Let's talk about it. I don't know what to tell you. Or the all-time favorite...Aww, it's okay.. No IT'S not okay, Damnit!
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem .See a doctor.
- True, and a love-making session that lasts 1-5 minutes is a Problem. Thus a headache.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
- Yes, but a promise is a promise. You say you will take us to Hawaii or get us a dog or a bracelet, we expect those things in a timely manner. Saying you love us or care about us is never null and void until the termination of the relationship. This also goes for any time we said we "had an orgasm" or "that was the best I've ever had" shall also be null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
- You should love us how we are naturally. Dressing up for you is a treat and priviledge, not a right. Soap Opera guys are spineless and fake. We want a real man that sweats and comes home smelling like hard work. If you take us to a Strip Club with you, don't expect us NOT to have a good time too.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.Don't ask us.
- If you think it was good, then it might be right for you. Don't ask us, we will agree to disagree only to preserve your feelings.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .
- Then say the other one. Saying I'm sorry doesn't make you less of a man, plus it lands your a hug, kiss, a smile from us, and a guarentee you aren't sleeping on the couch.
1. You can either ask us to do somethingOr tell us how you want it done.Not both.If you already know best how to do it,just do it yourself.
- We generally do. That is why all shopping, gift giving, and party planning is left to us. All you do is work the grill and show up. That is what you do best.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
- Fair enough, but please hold all burps, belches, farts, and other sound effects or requests for another beer or some food until the commercial breaks as well.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
- A man created MapQuest. Mapquest never sends you the right place. it either takes you nowhere near wher eyou wanted to go, or takes you the long, round-about route to get there.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
- Most men only see primary colors. We women don't care about the name of the color, just the color itself. If it was up to men, the color on everything would be Black,White, Red, Blue, Green, or Plaid.
1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.We do that.
- If something is wrong, we will bitch. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
- We say this because we don't bother to deal with your lack of sympathy. We like to keep to ourselves for a bit about bad things that trouble us. Any woman is worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
- If you expect we were born to cook, clean, adn wait on you hand and foot, then expect to not get what you want.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine ... Really .
- When we go somewhere, wearing something clean, stainless, without the scent of spilled beer, sweat, food, or smoke from a bar is NOT Fine. Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball,the shotgun formation, or golf.
- Most women will agree when we ask you what you are thinkign about. We get silence or the reply, "huh? oh nothing". So we try to pry it out of you and only then is it something liek football or golf. We suffer through that, you can certainly suffer through our discussion of PMS, Hot flashes, and Hating some woman that gave you a stare.
1. You have enough clothes.
- No we don't. We have to maintain ourselves for you and others. Men need more clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
- They go out of style, get dirty, or fall apart. We have many colors ands types of clothing that require more than the selection of most men which is: Tennis shoes, Dress shoes, and Flip Flop and the dirty pair you use for cutting the grass. Women can NEVER have enough Shoes!
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
-We are women, we PMS around the time of the month. PMS IS a syndrome. And no, our feet are not smaller to stand closer to the sink, and no our heads are not flatter to hold your beer on top of it.
Sherman- 2010 Mazda 3 Grand Touring Hatch
Lucy- 1996 Mazda Miata
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